Can any of you who suffer with the knowledge of your husband's extracurricular sexual activity find any peace in life? I have struggled with it for a year. He says he's done with it and moving on to a different future. He seems so positive and upbeat. I feel low, depressed, apathetic and hopeless. I don't know where my life is going. I can't get going. It seems my mind is obsessessed with confusion and I can't find a hub to center on any more. I feel like the life I thought I had came to an end...my history a trick of the imagination...my future unknown. Confusion and fear are King. I can't seem to get up and look toward my future. I'm very depressed I guess. I just force myself to do the necessities each day. Do you ever get where you can feel hopeful...excited...centered? Or is this just it? I wonder if I'm doing the wrong thing by staying. Maybe this is what it is like to live with someone who destroyed everything you thoguht was true. He says he loves me but he also says he loved me while he set out to destroy it. Maybe I just can't really love him that way any more. Maybe I'm just sorry for him because he seems to want to make a marriage so badly now and I feel its silly to try. Without love. It is dead. And, how can I love someone who has had no care about my feeling, my future? I don't know how to do that. Am I weird? Is this only me? Have I suffered a nervous breakdown? He seems so hopeful. And I am so afraid to try and live this psuedo life. I'm trying and its awful. Scary. I have to find something to move toward. It seems my life blewup a year ago and I just look at the pieces and don't know how to put anything back together. I think I've lost it. I'm just so beaten. Has anyone ever felt normal again?
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