I confronted my PA around July 24th and I will admit I could have brought it up differently. He usually popped in the dvd after I went to bed and masturbated. I had been trying to stay up later than him just to see how long he would wait me out to get his fix. Well on the night I confronted him it was late and I guess I outlasted him. I don't know why it was that night but I had had my fill and I blurted out to him "What no pron no masturbation?" His reply to me was that I wasn't his mother, what about all the time and money you spend on the grandkids, blah, blah, blah. We work for a major moving company and were suppose to leave out the next morning. Needless to say he went ahead and left out that night leaving me at home. Two days later he called and left a message that he would like to talk to me. I called him back and he admitted he "thought" he had a problem, that he had taken all the dvds and gotten rid of them and that he had quit before and he was doing it again. Well there has not been anymore discussion on this subject. I went back on the road with him and it's been 18 days. I have read, been on this site, read some more, been on this site and have done alot of thinking about what I need to do. I have decided instead of bringing up the subject verbally that I would write him a letter telling him of my intentions of staying home, finding a job and that I would like for him to decide if this is a relationship he would like to continue and the stipulations I have if he wants to continue the relationship. I feel that if I write it out that I won't be blind siding him and that he could think about the situation and whether or not it is something he wants to pursue. My ex was a gambling addict, I was in a support group for spouses of gamblers, an abuse support group and in private therapy for years so this is a road I have been down. I know part of the porn activity, his latest viewing was of the barely legal theme. I would like some suggestions when I write this letter. I know some of the boundaries I need to set. I want him to seek help, we have no health insurance, he is always traveling. I have found this site and the SA site helpful and feel the least he can do is join and participate here. Except for a rare few, the people here are compassionate but also straight shooters. My plans are to stay in this relationship but to plan if I cannot. The new job is the one step I know I must make first.
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