How long does it take to get through this? It's two years in March since I discovered affairs! He has been almost perfect since and will not get the triggers again, I can't forgive or forget. Married 41 years. He's had over 20 maybe as many has 30 women during are marriage, even a friend of mine when I was PG with our third. I'm drinking too much, smoking too much and not enjoying a new life of retiring. I love him but hurt so much. We married at 19/20. I have become more desirable in everything sexually and now I present it and it doesn't work. Last night I said lets go make love and he said many later or in the morning. I have not been on this site because i thought I should tryt to forget and ignore for my mental health. Another note is I have a auto-immune disease and has made me slow down. I'm so not good.