My partner and I have just come back from a well needed 4 night break in Amsterdam. We had a great time. However now we are back in old Blighty and are forced to face the "normal" life once again. My partner is supposed to be in recovery from SA however I don't see how when he is'nt doing anything anymore. I know he has had to go to work and all that but its almost as if his addiction has been swept under the carpet. I am having trouble believing that he is doing so well when we don't talk about it, he has'nt seen his therapist for over 6 weeks, he hasn't been on here and he hasn't read his book out of the shadows. He says that he has abstained from masturbating for well over a month. I am having trouble believing that everything is ok now. It just seems too damn easy and I can't help being paranoid that he is still up to his old tricks again. One thing that stood out to me was that twice when we were away in Holland and once when we got home he lost his erection when we were having you know what! I was wondering if anyone else had this problem and I also wondered if he couldn't perform cos he had a guilty conscience about something which he has admitted to me before. I just find it odd that for 3 times now he has had this. Since before and after his abstaining from masturbating he never had a problem with this unless of course he had taken drugs which have that effect so I am finding it odd that this happened now?? I mean, is it possible for some1 who has had such an addiction for over 30 years to be able to quit without help, it's been impossible for him to stop before so how is it different this time?? I really really hate these negative thoughts of mine and I really want to believe that he is'nt or has'nt acted out I should be being positive and reassuring and supportive of him cos negativity is'nt going to help him recover but I just can't seem to be able to get over this. Advice anybody?????
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