
spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.

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For those who do not have contact with the child, do your in-laws have contact?
My H & I have decided not to have contact with the child (too many issues with the OW). However my in-laws are deciding for themselves it does not matter what we want, they will be involved. Are your extended families a wreck too?
My H & I have decided not to have contact with the child (too many issues with the OW). However my in-laws are deciding for themselves it does not matter what we want, they will be involved. Are your extended families a wreck too?
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Maybe because we are in a different situation, however I would think the in laws would focus on your family and let that situation be as not to cause anymore problems. That is so hard for you, because you can't put it behind you....
This is something that is totally out in the open in his family and the child is a regular subject of conversation when he talks to family members on the phone (from his cousins down to his 7 year-old niece). The thing that upsets me is that they ask questions about how she is doing on MySpace. I think that is so rude and uncalled for. This is not something that I want the entire world to know about and the people in my life (my family, friends, etc.) do not know about this child and his family knows what a touchy subject this is for me. Why would they post messages like this on the internet for the world to see???
I think this whole situation would be much easier if it were just my husband and I trying to sort our way through it. It is people like his family that like to throw their two cents in that make it ten times harder. I know they are just excited about the baby and could care less who it's mother is, but come on. They need to have a little bit of compassion and understanding.
I don't get why the in-laws are so interested in pursuing a relationship with the child? Our extended families are not too messed up, just ours.
About two weeks ago i found a card in my husbands breif case when i was adding some documents. It was from a family member. The card congradulated him on a "bouncing baby boy" it had all this other "mushy" stuff written as if he and i had had this child.
That is not the bad part. This SAME family member was the first one on my husband's side of the family I went to in confidence to ask for help. Making myself vunerable and letting out the "secret" that he had not been coming home and infact my husband was treating the children and I VERY mean. To make a long story short. This same family member whom I have know for many years and, hug him when i see him,I respect him turned out to be one of the evil people ever. He encouraged my husband to go to other woman's house. He even went WITH my husband. He talked VERy bad about me.
My sister in law told me it was my "fault" he had affair and also my mother in law. It hurt SO bad because I really really thought they they liked and loved me. The were sent photos of the children and stop calling me and their first legitally born grandchildren.
Now, is that plain EVIL are what. Now the mom in law called and said, "Oh, it's so good to hear ya'll two voices together again, I love you all" I WANTED TO PUKE.
About two weeks ago i found a card in my husbands breif case when i was adding some documents. It was from a family member. The card congradulated him on a "bouncing baby boy" it had all this other "mushy" stuff written as if he and i had had this child.
That is not the bad part. This SAME family member was the first one on my husband's side of the family I went to in confidence to ask for help. Making myself vunerable and letting out the "secret" that he had not been coming home and infact my husband was treating the children and I VERY mean. To make a long story short. This same family member whom I have know for many years and, hug him when i see him,I respect him turned out to be one of the evil people ever. He encouraged my husband to go to other woman's house. He even went WITH my husband. He talked VERy bad about me.
My sister in law told me it was my "fault" he had affair and also my mother in law. It hurt SO bad because I really really thought they they liked and loved me. The were sent photos of the children and stop calling me and their first legitally born grandchildren.
Now, is that plain EVIL are what. Now the mom in law called and said, "Oh, it's so good to hear ya'll two voices together again, I love you all" I WANTED TO PUKE.
I don't want her coming after insurance money or looking for an inheritance. I told my mother the other day I will NEVER give them a cent, I will give her all the money. I would rather smash each of my fingers then write out a check to them. I think she got off the phone really fast after I said that!
I have been trying to research this issue and I am not sure. I keep coming up with different cases that cancel each other out, so I don't know the answer. If my husband dies, I won't keep getting money from him, why should they?
I hate to sound like my only concern is money. But when it comes right down to it, I really think it is the driving force of most of the OWs. I just don't want her to have what she set out to get. She didn't get my husband in the end, and I don't want her to get anything else.
Have I mentioned I hate her?