well since the child was here this weekend i have been a total mess. first of all he left and took her and our son out for the day and eventhough i probably would not have gone anyway, he did not even invite me. well i got over that by hanging out with my best friend, we had dinner and a drink together. well last night when he got home i went upstairs and when i reached my bedroom i just broke down crying, i cried so much that i woke up this morning and could barely see. anyway i was lying in bed next to him and i was crying but had my head was turned and i was just crying silently but i know he could tell i was crying because of course i had the sniffles. anyway after a few minutes of crying in bed next to him i lift my head and look over at him and he has his pillow over his head. i was crushed. i could not believe that he would be that insensitive. to hear me in pain and to ignore me, i just could not believe it. how do you see the one you claim to love in pain and close your eyes and sleep like that person is not even there. i just don't know what to think. i was so hurt that i went into our guestroom and cried for another hour or two. my son finally comes in there and eventhough i tried not to let him see me cry i could not control it and at this point i am sobbing. my son draws a picture and when he shows it to me i smile and he says "wow that really worked, you are happy now, you have no more tears.! after that i could not even be sad anymore, where would i be without him. could it be that he no longer cares what i am going thru and is tired of dealing with me, because i would think if he hated to hear me cry and felt bad for being the reason i cry that he would not have put a pillow over his head. i just needed to share that, thanks for listening.
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