Hello! I haven't been on here for awhile. I think I have too much to say! A little refresher on what's going on. My H slept with this psycho bixxh on Jan 29 09 and she slept w/another person about a week later and the ow is due in almost a month, Nov.1. I'm getting very anxious of what's to come. I think about this from the time I get up til the time I go to bed and even have dreams about it. I feel like a failure sometimes to my kids for first of all being in the situation and second, staying with my h. I don't trust my h. He says he doesn't wanna be with the ow and they haven't talked since she texted him about what the sex of the baby and the name she picked out, which was in June. My h will not get counseling, saying he doesn't want the counselor to judge him and tell him he is wrong b/c he knows he's wrong and a total axxhole for what he has done. It has been a long summer waiting and wondering....and pretending to be a happy family. The best scenerio would the oc not be my h's but I have a feeling it's his. Most of me wants to stay w/my h even if it's his b/c we have know each other since I was 13 and have been together for over 8 years, have 2 boys, 4&2. I know that the ow was thinking she would get pregnant and my h would be with her, she stopped taking bc and ooops I got pregnant, she claims she didn't know she would get pregnant that quick. Obviously I'm dealing with a scandelous bxxch! Everytime I think of their affair and him sleeping with her, I just think to myself, am I crazy for staying or wanting to stay????? My kids would be devestated to leave our home, I could not afford our home if me & the kids stayed. Right now I'm a SAHM, I babysit but even with child support it would not be enough to survive. My h thinks I'm in it for the long haul and I will be helping him with the oc if it's his. The nerve!! I want nothing to do w/it. I'll be damned if I'm changing a shitty diaper and staying up with that cxxt's child! I think my h is dellusional for even thinking that, don't ya think. I guess I'm rambling and lost my point of the story!! I guess it's just getting closer and I am going to be going thru more hell soon. Thanks for listening!
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