how do you deal with this
I am new here. I had my fourth mental breakdown last night since finding out July 30 my H had affair and now has a 6 month baby. Its just unbelievable and the pain is horrible. I think my H may not be able to take it anymore either. My break downs are violent and they are starting to scare me. I actually hit him last night in front of my 2 yr old and now I can't stop crying about it. I feel like a rubber band and have no control. I just don't know what to do about all this. One minute I can't live without him and then the next I can't stand the site of him. Last night I made him so angry at me that he almost spilled the beans about why he thinks he did it and when he started telling me I went crazy and couldnt bare it. I want to know so bad but then I can't bare it. I truly think hearing why he did it and what happened will let me move on, but I don't think I will ever get that opportunity after how nuts I went las night. This is the ugliest sin to deal with and I am just not sure how long I take this. He wants to move on and just deal with it but I just can't let go. I am not strong enough for this...why did god give this to me? I hate to say it but I am so scared after reading a lot of posts all night. This really never ever goes away. How many months before you could go a few days without freaking out or is this my new life?