I'm sitting on my couch tonight watching the movie Under The Tuscan Sun with Diane Lane. For those who have not seen the movie, it mirrors most of our lives. Diane Lane's husband had an affair an got the OW pregnant. They had no children of their own. They divorced because of it. She ended up going on a gay tour of Tuscany, Italy and bought a villa there.
She focused all of her thoughts into rebuilding this villa. In the process, she rebuilt herself. The character in the movie is living the life that I always wanted, even before I was married. I always dreamed of living in Italy. Now I find myself wondering if I would have kept him around if it weren't for my kids. Maybe I would have thrown in the towel right away and followed my dream.
This movie is making me wonder if I made the right choice for me. I'm almost tempted to learn Italian and go on a tour by myself. I really think I need to rediscover me. Rediscover who I was before the affair. Who I am, what I want and what I like. For the last 4 years, this affair has consumed my life. I need to reconnect with me now.
Do you ever ask yourself what you would be doing right now if you would have left your husband?