Hey I'm very new to DS, but I've suffered depression for many years. I'm currently getting counselling which is slowly helping. I've been through so much from being attacked by my own mother for no reason, forced in a flat for 3 months, my best friend who was my last close childhood friend..passing away, and then being rushed to hospital with pain in my chest only to find out I was suffering from an over acrive thyroid...which now thank god after 2 years of treatment is all clear. But everyday since I have been going through severe depression and anxiety. I get on the train and run away to different town for days, I think of suicide, I come quite close sometimes, I cry so much my eyes go red raw, I have panic attacks, I feel like a failure, my own family bully me and make me feel so small. And to top it all of I have no friends. I go everywhere on my own, and I don't go out unless I have to. I'm unemployed too and that's a huge strain. What I'm hoping to find are new friends, people who I will become really close to, who spend time with me, hanging out, having a laugh, going to rock gigs, theme parks, cinema, socialising, learning about eachother along the way. I just want someone I will connect with and can call a true close friend. I feel so lonely it's unreal and I know I may sound desparate but it's just because I can't take being alone anymore. It's so emotional and I just know if I find that friend, I will be a happier person. I've felt like this ever since my best friend passed away from a bloodclot in the brain only 5 weeks after giving birth for the 1st time to a baby boy. I hope there is someone out there who feels the same way as me. Thank you for reading if you have. x
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