About a month ago I was smoking 3 packs a day... was normally a 2 pack a day smoker, my smoking went up with dealing with the stress of a divorce, and still living with my ex for a month after we decided to split up... I moved out to Nebraska, 12 hours from home, to stay with my boyfriend... since I've been out here, I was keeping it to about 5 cigs a day... I have to smoke outside and it's been FREEZING outside! lol Over the past few days I've been more up to about half a pack a day. I don't know why I've gone back up on it. I feel bad because when I come inside after smoking, the smell really bothers my boyfriend... he gets on to me about it a lot. I don't know if I want to totally quit. I don't mind just keeping it cut back a whole lot. I went all day today until 4pm without a cig then went and bought a pack. I've had a few days where I've gone all day without a cig but the next day I go buy a pack. This is sooooooo hard!!! And I know there are things to do instead of smoking, chew on a straw, chew gum, eat hard candy... but I'm stubborn, I want that cig instead. *sigh* I will quit one day, I know I will, just so much going on in my life right now and I don't know if I'm really ready.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...