Been in your shoes! I read once that smokers tend to have an "I'll deal with it later mentality; after I've had a smoke" Then they just don't deal! I found that was so true with myself.

My sweet husband has a terrible habit of throwing his dirty clothes NEXT to the laundry basket, for 10 years!

As a smoker: Honey, you missed again! Can you please get them in next time?

As a non-smoker: With pea-soup flying through the air - get your flippin nasty clothes off the floor now!

Of course, this is a mild version, but it is a true story and it neatly sums up what you are talking about.

My husband suffered my wrath more than anyone else. At about 6-7 weeks, I peaked. For about the last 2 weeks, I have finally found peace and no longer have the desire to claw his eyeballs out. Tell those around you (when possible) that you have quit and that it will get better. They need to bear with you until then. PEACE DOES COME! Goodluck and God Bless!

I have been quit for 2 Months, 5 Days, 11 hours and 24 minutes (66 days). I have saved $116.32 by not smoking 664 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 7 hours and 20 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 10/4/2007 8:00 PM

The "I'll deal with it later" mentality Catherine mentions is typical of any addict. Instead of dealing with life's issues, we've always turned to our addiction to provide us a blanket of comfort. Now we don't have that "blankee" and must learn to deal with life, something we really haven't done no matter how old we are.

Here's my onion theory:
I believe we are born as beautiful, perfect, whole, and complete souls. Immediately, life starts wrapping us up in layers of ick. Some of us turn to various addictions in an effort to cope and the addictions, in turn, add thier own layers of ick to the ones life keeps giving us.

Now that we have chosen to overcome our addictions, we are beginning to peel off those layers. Some layers are thin and easily removed. Some are thick and tough and hurt like hell when they come off. Some even come off in pieces, each piece a painful process to remove.

But for every layer we shed, a bit of that beautiful soul at our core is revealed, a tad more shines through the layers.

This process does far more than simply make you a better person, which is a judgement based on external (to you) standards. It will make you YOU, that beautiful, perfect, whole, and complete soul that the world was originally gifted with.

Shed the tears whenever you can. Tears are very cleansing. Do not worry about pleasing everyone all the time. Not everyone should be pleased all the time. You take care of you. They can take care of themselves. This is not mean or selfish, this is recognizing your own intrinsic importance, and you are very important. Allow yourself to slip into the slow lane as often as possible.

Peace and blessings to you, dear lady.
Shevie
Quit May, 2005

I know exactly what you are talking about!

I went through different phases down my continuing road to health. Before I quit smoking I had also quit drinking, so I was peeling away a lot of layers at once. At first I was worried that I was now a boring person and no one would want to hang out with me. Then I felt a lot of isolation and loneliness because I avoided social situations because I felt I could not handle them without giving into one or both of my vices (I was right).

Finally came the anger, about a month and a half ago, I was angry for a month straight, at everyone and everything. I was screaming, crying, stomping my feet, you name it and I am convinced it is because I couldn't deal with it later, as Catherine and Shevie have pointed out. I had no coping mechanism for anger, pain, saddness, anything!

There is an upside to all of this, through all of the anger and tears, you learn how to deal with all of these emotions and situations in healthy, productive ways. I still struggle, but it has become so much easier now. I feel more peaceful and patient that I ever have before, and I deal with things as they come, rather than putting them off and letting them boil under the surface for ever.

I really think this part of addiction recovery is the most important on the road to a healthy life.

Good luck, this too shall pass, you will get through it and feel better than ever, about your life and yourself!
LizBeth:
Four months, four days, 11 hours, 57 minutes and 29 seconds. 2529 cigarettes not smoked, saving $904.76. Life saved: 1 week, 1 day, 18 hours, 45 minutes.

I am surprised at how much smoking masks us of our feelings and emotions. Until I was about at day 20 to 40 maybe, I had never realized how much I hid behind my cigarette. Days and days beyond that, the feeling of hidden emotions seem to crawl out of hiding and then become more of strength and empowerment. It is so difficult to describe that I don't even want to reread this reply as I just want to hope it makes sense, so I'm pushing Add; hope my feelings get across.

You did Shell, I get it.