ok ive read the messages to suirley1 and yes i am the offender you can judge but im having a tough time at the moment and yes i have smoked i am full of emotions and very angry but above all i am feeling as though i dont like myself and im facing some tough things it was a choice i made but i didnt make it you may well laugh but whenyou find yoursef not coping well the old comforters creep back in and yes my biggest comfort has always been a fag it doesnt ask questions and its always there when you need it i dont smoke iside and i havent asked my wife to smoke with me this isnt an attack or retaleashun to the replies on squirleys post but it is how im feeling and yes i do feel as though i need to explain no im not proud of it and i know that i have let everyone especially myself down i was so proud that i hadnt smoked and of how far i had got and that i was not smelling yukky and guess what i hate the smell and taste but how else am i ment to cope with things at the moment i have tried every thing else and no it doesnt help me to start feeling good about myself again im not saying but coz i know theres no buts i am however apologizing to you all that i have done something i shouldnt be doing and know that i am doing it
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