I'm new here and also new to the online support. I relapsed after 6 months after the 3rd time I quit. My quit time has been 10 years the first time, then had a bad relationship after my divorce, was hospitalized for depression and started smoking again. Ended that relationship and quit again for 9 years. I wanted the divorced and my kids were older, 18 and 13 and didn't take it too well. My ex also hit a bottom (he was alcoholic) when we split so I was blamed. The years passed and my ex tried to move on but life didn't turn out to well for him even though we were friendly towards each other. I never spoke to him about it or asked how he was. The kids married and moved on with their lives. After many years alone I met an old boyfriend ( a smoker) and we got married. He's a wonderful man but he has a chronic illness which won't get any better and many other health issues. He's not a big smoker and it wasn't a problem for me, Until my ex suddenly passed away in January, he was 58. I was flooded with guilt, guilt I thought I had worked through many years ago. I started smoking again. I then tried again to stop in May and with my husbands health issues I got depressed and only lasted 6 months. I've been smoking now for 2 weeks and I have been shown the addiction and how powerful it can be. I've picked another quit date (Nov. 16th) and I'm trying to stay positive. I've always used the patch and this last time I used Chantix. I'm not sure what I try this time. I do know that for me the beginning weeks are no sweat. Then it's seems that after months go by the addiction sneaks up on me. I will try to reach out this time by writing to all of you for support. I'm hoping to sound positive and happy about quitting like all of you do.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.
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