I have it too. But I don't care.
If you want to date, you may want to address it in therapy.

its normal to me a way of life even! im very defensive coz i dont want people to cross that line! once they do i can get hurt!! and i dont wanna get hurt! my wall is there maybe someday i will allow it to be taken down just not right now x

I've been told the same thing! I'm either putting up the vibe of a shield or I'm too "got it together and you scare them off" I say whatever!

I've been told that by several people too... It's a means of protecting ourselves and our children from getting hurt by people that aren't strong enough or patient enough to wait out that wall... I have found that if someone is tough enough to be my friend for long enough, then that wall does come crashing down eventually.. Takes forever, but it does happen. When you meet the right people you'll find one day that part of that wall has come down, and it might surprise you like it did me..

Getting hurt again? We all are. I'm terrified of meeting someone new. It will likely pass but for now I'm OK with it.

I am scared too...even making eye contact with a man freaks me out! I am scared to be with anyone...I guess when you really love someone(like I did..I am sure we all did or still do) it is impossible to even imagine going to a movie with a new person, much less have a relationship!

I have it too but I like that about myself! That way i can keep focus on my child and if someone is truly meant to be in my life- the wall will know when its time to come down!

omg, i have totally been told that aswell. how long have you been a single parent for? these things take time, is no point rushing in to dating. a break-up when theres children involved is really stressful, i think you have to readjust to life, financially/mentally/physically etc, the day-day routine changes. you need to take time out for yourself and get to knoe your self again, it sounds a little cliche' but its not. when the time is right and you are ready then you should venture into it. the people who are telling you this are wither rushng you, putting pressure on you, and you dont need that. have some fun with your kids for a while and sleeping in your own bed!!!

I have it up, too, and then can't figure out why I am so lonely. I think it takes time for the wall to come down, but a part of me is afraid I've been hurt so many times that I won't be able to let it down again.

I also have it. For me it's fear and it has been with me for a long time and I will be this way forever and I've accepted that.

I am the same way. a brickwall so thick that i dont think somone will ever break through it. it takes a long time when i meet someone for that wall to start cracking. and i isually wind up getting hurt. i rarely go out anymore unless its to the race track, all the guys there are married or are jailbait lol. i have been hanging around with an ex lately, but just as friends. i dont think i could ever go back to him. time takes it tole on a lonely heart.

I definitely have the same shield. One of my close friends sometimes (half jokingly) refers to me as the ice princess. I see the truth in it though - I often come across as distant or cold towards strangers, but in reality it's a defense mechanism to keep my inner self protected. As for the question of whether your fear is "normal"? My opinion is absolutely. It's human nature to develop a fear of something that's hurt us. Sometimes it's even a useful survival mechanism. But do try to keep perspective. If you burn yourself on the stove, should you never cook again? No, you'd continue to cook but in a way that incorporated what you learned from getting burnt (i.e. don't take a pan out of the oven without an oven mitt). If you look at your previous relationship(s), I bet you'll see that you've learned/can learn a lot from it/them. Feeling scared is okay. Just don't let your fear paralyze you. If dating is something that you want, then take the steps to do it in spite of your fear. That's the very definition of courage. Not the absence of fear.

I am like that as well, defensive and pushing people away. I guess that is why I am a single mom...lol. I am not sure how or even if I will ever get over it and be able to trust another person to let them so deep into my life, and my daughter. It is worse now that I have a child as I have to worry about me geting hurt and my daughter getting hurt as well.