Single Parenting Support Group

Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.

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deleted_user 10/30/2007

I think i put this in the wrong bit before, never used something like this so sorry.

Hi I split up with my ex a month after I fell preg, for more reasons than one, one of which he hit me and I didn't want to live a life that way. He would also make sarcastic comments or say stuff about things I did or what my family would be buying the new born baby for it being born. I just really had enough. He was also puttin me and the baby under alot of stress.

After the break up I stayed in touch for the sake of my unborn child but he started gettin nasty and making up lies about me and my family telling me I would never be aloud to bring my baby home and he will be able to take it straight out of my hands it really upset me, I was adviced to go to the police to get them to stop him contacting me or coming near me.

I dont want any money off him for my unborn baby or do I want him to be part of my childs life as I think he would bring no joy to the childs life at all and would just make my life a livin hell of which the baby will be able to tell and perharps become upset.

He is now telling me that he will take me to court im scared that he might actually be able to take my child off me and I will be givin just 2 hours a week with my baby, Could that happen? This is my first child and i've done everything possible to make sure my baby is going to be brought into the world safe. Some people have said he might not even get access to the baby at all, because we where not together that long and so on. Can someone give me some advice.

Thank you.

deleted_user 10/30/2007

So sorry to hear your havin such a rough time.
I really dont know how all this works especially with an unborn child but I would advise you to seek legal advice if you are genuinely worried. Most will give a free consultant initially.
Alternatively try the citizens advice bureau, they are a mine of information on everything in my experience.
Good Luck to you and your child
x

jody0385 10/30/2007

One would be hard pressed to find a court that would take a child away from the mother unless the mother was proven unfit. Sure he will get visitation rights. Unless you can prove him unfit, then he'd only be allowed supervised visitation.. It sucks that it works that way, but that's how it does usually. I wouldn't worry too much about the baby being taken away. That is HIGHLY unlikely.

rainyangel 11/03/2007

Hey, I understand what you're going through. My son's biological father was abusive and I broke up with him not long after my son was born. I moved away and he hasn't been in his life at all. He was so obsessive and crazy I didn't want anything to do with him or for him around my son. He can't take your baby away but by law he can go to court and get visitation. If he causes problems and harasses you or is bad for the baby, you can go to court and talk to judge about it. First paternity has to be established, usually you do that by putting him on birth certificate. If you don't then he'll have to take you to court to get it established if he wants anything to do with the child. He'll have to pay support after that. Some guys don't like that part of paternity. If he causes you problems and upsets you, stay away from him. He doesn't have to be in your life if he can't shape up and be normal. But he can by law seek rights to his child. You still don't have to have contact with him even then, just go through the courts. He can pick child up from someone other than you etc. You can get visits supervised through courts stating why you feel child is unsafe etc. If he has history of abuse on record that helps. Good luck

deleted_user 11/04/2007

I feel for you~~I've been there & it's tuff~~my 1st husband was very abusive to me before my son was born & he didn't keep contact with him & I today my son hurts for that & now I have a 10 year old in which his father was verbally abusive to all three of us & physically towards by boys~~well after a restraint & the courts making him get angermanagement classes I did agree to let him have him every other weekend because I know now he has to control himself & that he does really love our son but mostly because my son needs him~~you have to think this out really good for the sake of your child~~I'm sure whatever you chose it will be ok~~

deleted_user 12/01/2007

i agree with going through the courts, make him work for every single inch. don't put him on the birth certificate, make him establish paternity, make sure you keep records of his harrasment etc...for use later. the truth is he probably dosn't want to do anything but controll you still. but legally the courts don't take custody from the mother unless there is abuse on her part toward the child. i had a similar situation, not as dramatic,and he has never seen my son, probably never will because once i stopped letting him controll me, it stopped being fun for him.

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