I am so angry right now!!! Angry and Hurt!!! I There was a reply to my post in the autism support group from a new member named itsnotreal that pretty much insinuated that I am a bad mother, and maybe I let my kids watch too much violent tv and other such stuff...that REALLY ticked me off...I mean, I do everything for my kids...I would die for them. They really are my whole life...I don't go anywhere, do anything...nothing unless they are with me. To be honest, my kids are the only things keeping me alive because I know that no one could do a beter job raising them than I can. It just makes me so mad that someone challenges my parenting skills. Told me I wasn't supposed to be mad at Azaria for Throwing the baby into the wall...WHO WOULDN'T BE MAD?!?!?!?!?! SHE DISLOCATED THE BABY'S ELBOW FOR CHRISTS SAKE!!! ME BEING MAD HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH AZARIA BEING AUTISTIC...I WOULDN'T CARE IF SHE WERE A FLIPPING GENIUS...I'D STILL BE PISSED!!! AND SINCE WHEN IS IT A CRIME TO SEPERATE MY OLDEST AND YOUNGEST FROM THE SITUATION WHEN AZARIA IS FLIPPING OUT??? DO THEY REALLY HAVE TO SEE THEIR SISTER LIKE THAT? NOT ONLY COULD THEY BE HURT, BUT THEY COULD BE SCARRED FOR LIFE SEEING AZARIA TRYING TO HURT HERSELF, OR ATTACKING THEIR MOTHER...HOW THE HELL DOES THAT MAKE ME A BAD MOMMY? BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO PROTECT 2 WHILE TRYING TO CALM 1??? I just really hate when peole make ignorant comments without knowing the situation at hand or any extenuating circumstances that led up to the situation. Also, not for nothing but this person has never met Azaria...she hasn't seen the damage she can do...I almost lost my kids because when I ran to get the mail(mailbox is about 10 feet from my door) Azaria stabbed my oldest in the face with a fork because she wanted the spot at the door that my oldest was standing in...she has attacked me in my sleep with a knife(thankfully it was a plastic one) and I still have scars on my back and arm from that. Azaria's agression is sometimes extreme, but I do everything in my power to keep ALL 3 of my girls safe...If that makes me a bad mother, than I'm sorry but I do the best I can...it's not like I really have any help...the state keeps turning azaria down for behavioral therapy, I'm doing all this on my own...before azaria, I had no idea exactly what autism was and to be honest, i'm still not completely sure what it is only what it can do...and now I'm faced with the fact that I have 2 autistic daughters...possibly 2 Azaria's...2 girls prone to aggressive outburts...2 girls I have to worry about hurting people or themselves...I mean c'mon...give me a flippin break here...I'm doing the best I can...I'm sorry if I'm not perfect, but this isn't Leave It To Beaver...unfortunately this is REALITY, and in reality, shit happens and all you can do is roll with the puches...sorry just had to vent a little!!!!
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