I am so sorry he did this to you. His little girlfriend should not be around your son, and you should be firm about that. Since his calls are dwindling, you might be free of him soon. I know it hurts, but you don't need him or his crap. You deserve better. He's clearly not thinking with the right head, and his girlfriend must be morally corrupt or out and out stupid for being with a man who ditched his son and wife. I hope things get better for you soon because you truly deserve better!

I hope you find happiness in time...take care and know that you are not alone.

thank you guys so much and hes not thinking with his right head. i wish he would just stay away but his parents wont let that happen :( i know i cant have him all to my self but ima try my best to keep the visits to a min. and even if i cant be there hopefully i can make them at his parents house or something.im trying to live my life to give my son the best life possible and i know im doing my best but others dont seem to see that. (well his dad dont think that) i think what hes doing is just to *get a little* so he can feel like a *big man* and hurt me anyway he can but im done letting that happen. im going to try my best to move on and not let him see how much i miss him.one day hes gonna need me or maybe even want me back but by then the tables are gonna be turned

Exactly! You have a beautiful boy in your life now, so you got the only good part of him. Your best revenge is to live a happy life. He'll end up miserable no matter what. Good for you for being strong!

I, too, was quickly replaced, even before I filed for divorce (I didn't know this until a month after the divorce was final). My ex has introduced her to our five-year-old son within one month of that, and they've spent time together since then. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening, and I am the same way as you... I can't stand the thought of her acting as mommy when I'm not there.

I hear what you are saying, I am the one who wanted him, not my ex, I carried him for 9 months, and I have been the one who has cared for him his entire life, so much so that he doesn't even like his dad. My son likes her, thought, because she plays with him.

For his sake, I encourage the relationship, but inside I am seething and very verbally letting my ex know I am not happy about it. Luckily, our son doesn't spend much time with him (due to some behavioral issues he has that arose from how his father treated me when we were together), and when he does, she is not usually there because she lives three hours away (he sometimes sees her on his weekend visitations).

So, I feel for you. I hope your ex does the right thing and just lets go. If he isn't involved in the first place, just because he is the biological father, doesn't mean he should have rights to him. He also needs to be an involved father to have those. Good luck.

Gabesmom0- I completely understand where you are coming from. I am in a similar situation. My ex-partner of 11 years and i have a 2 year old daughter. Two months ago my ex told me that she no longer wanted to be with me and that she wanted to see someone else. I was completly shocked and heartbroken. I mean we had been togther 11 years. I thought we were solid. She has made it clear that she doesn't want to be with me and that she wants to be with this other person. The kicker is this other person is 22 years older than her. This man was her biology teacher in high school. She had feelings for him in high school and almost had a relationship with him then. He only put a stop to it because he was her teacher and didn't want to lose his job. She has recently found out that when she was in his class and wanted to be with him he was interested in her, but was going through a nasty divorce and was afraid to do anything that would hurt job. So now 20 years later he is in a place to pursue her and he knew she was in a 11 year committed relationship but told her he didn't care. She is so infactuated with him that she can't see the fact that she is ending a 11 year relationship and hurting her 2 year old daughter. Lucky this man lives 8 hours away so he isn't around very often, however she has decided that she wants to move to the state that he lives in. I don't care if she moves with him, and i have told her that. I have told her that if she wants to move to another state she can, but she needs to leave our daughter here with me. I am hoping that she will give me full custody of our daughter. I never wanted to be a single parent, but i would gladly do it if means being able to be in my daughters life on a daily basis. I feel like i shouldn't have to lose my daughter and have her taken several states away because she is making poor decisions.

I also understand not wanting this person in your sons life. I feel the same way about this man. From everything my ex has told me about this person he completely skeevy. I mean he incouraged a 16 year old girl to have feelings for him, 20 years ago, he cheated on his wife, he has had affairs with 2 married women, and this is just the things i know about. When she told him she was in a committed 11 year relationship with a 2 year old he had no respect for that relationship. He actually told her he didn't care if she was with someone he just wanted a chance to pursue her since he couldn't 20 years ago. In my mind he has no respect for commitment, or my ex, so i don't want him anywhere near my daughter. I want my daughter to know the value and importance of commitment. I want her to know that when you make a commitment to a relationship or marriage that is a serious thing and not something that you take lightly. I also don't what her growing up thinking that cheating on someone is right, or having a relationship with a married person is is right. Those things are unacceptable but having my ex cheat and if this person become a part of my daughters life she will grow up thinking it is okay, and it isn't. I only hope that i can have a large influance on her when it comes to morals.

Plus someone who as a teacher would encourage a student to have feelings for him sounds really close to a pedophile and not someone i want around my young daughter. I also can't understand why my ex can't see the potental risk to our daughter.

I can't really offer advise. The only thing i will say fight for what you believe in. That doesn't mean you have to get nasty and prevent your son from seeing his dad. Just try to have operatunities for your son and his dad to spend time together where this woman isn't at. I would also recommend that if this woman is going to be spending any time with your son that you meet her first. Tell your ex that you need to meet her to feel comfortable. Maybe she is a more mature person than your ex and she can be a positive influence on him.

I am fighting to stay in my daughters life. Everyday i tell my ex that she can move, just leave our daughter with me. I would never keep my ex from my daughter. She is her mom and they need each other. I have even told my ex that if she moves away i would allow her to see our daughter as often as she wants. I would even take our daughter to see her. I just feel very stongly that since my ex is the one that wants to leave the relationship and move states away that she should be the one to lose time with our daughter.

Good luck. I do understand loving someone very much and wanting that relationship to work. A part of me still wants that with my ex. However i know that at this point that will never happen. I can't get past everything that she has done and said. If you need to chat send me a message sometime.

you guys have helped me so much.I love my son more then anything and its great to see im not alone. Its hard because he hasnt been a dad to my son and even tho we are/were married it was like i was a single mom and now that im away from him its like for once im not alone. get this: my son was with my inlaws yesterday and as much as they hate me (atleast they told me) they told nick (my ex husband) his girlfriend was not aloud at there house yesterday when the baby was there...he got mad but what i was getting at was they came and got gabe (my son) at 11:30 am ( i cried when he left) and brought him back at 6:30 and they called me told me how much fun gabe had, they took him to the mall bought him some toys etc but they also told me that nick only came to see gabe maybe an hr of that time!!! he didnt even care that his son was crying for him when he left!! but yet nicks parents (my inlaws) see nothing wrong with that! i know they are always gonna take his side but damn if that was my parents they would put a foot up my ass. (what good grand parent wouldnt tho?) im still very confused...i guess im kinda being greedy and want gabe all to myself lol but no one can give him the love that i do. hes my angel and hes perfect in everyyy way...everyones advice has helped me so much thank you thank you thank you

I think his parents do see what is wrong with that, they are trying to hold on to their grandchild...And good for them for holding to your boundaries, sounds like they are as lost and confused by his behavior is you.
But Alas they are HIS parents, and have to on the surface seem to at least be supporting him.
I think their actions speak louder than words...let them love this boy, the more love the better. Your son will be so fortunate to have members of daddy's family in his life, even if daddy isn't.
Its hard especially when they are young, but they do grow up and do begin to realize who people really are.
As for the other woman...you are totally right to set limits on introducing new people, you can even get a court agreement, "coparenting agreement" to solidify it...hopefully he will agree to some sane boundaries.