You can do this! Be strong. Your son is telling you he's scared. Be the loving Mom you are. Go in and sit with him alone and let him yell and scream and whatever else he needs to do to vent his fear and frustration. It will be ugly. It will hurt. Be the Mom. Once he gets through the anger you can learn and calm his fear. It won't go away. But it won't be as bad. Focus on loving him. He needs it.

He's confused, and I am sure he's feeling abandoned. My oldest son explained to me, he's 20 now, that he was so evil to me at times because he knew I wasn't going anywhere. He knows now how hurtful he was, but says that he was able to vent because of the security he felt with me. It doesn't make much sense to me but it makes all the sense in the world to him. He said me always being there no matter what made him feel better. And slowly the anger softened and so did he. We have a great relationship, as I do with my 2 that are still at home. Hang in there. He needs your support. I would however lay down some ground rules about the language. I would not tolerate mine saying they hate me or their father. And they needed to tell me they needed to vent so my defense mechanism did not go up.

It does not feel like it at times. But what I have learned with my daughters when
they disrespect me at times is I am the constant in thier lives so I get all the bad with the good. But what it comes down to in the end is I am thier hero also. They just have no one else to vent to when they are miserable. So I get the mess too.

I have a suggestion for you if u can find a therapist to go see for you and you son. There are agencies out there that will help for free. I go to couseling with my kids and believe me it has helped. My kids are able to vent about how they feel and as well as I can too. I have been going through the same thing with my son and he is 10 years old. Keep on telling and reassuring him that you love him very much. I will pray for you and if you need any more advice just message me.

My son is 11 and my husband & I take his anger towards his "father". Now this is just a thought, Could he live with his father? I don't know your situation but it might be something to try, if of course it is a safe and loving situation. My son sees a counselor maybe it would help you and your son. And dieselgirl is right WE are their Heros. I just said that to my son's father's xwife tonight! Best of luck!

I'm with Jerry W. Your son probably has a lot of emotions inside that he doesn't have the words to express yet and you may have to help him pull them out. The next time he tells you you are so horrible, ask him why, very calmly. And keep asking until he comes up with something concrete. If he says because, say because why? Gently pull at the layers until you get the real answer. He probably has a mix of things like guilt, resentment towards Mom and Dad but you are there, anger that his life is irrevocably changed, etc. But how does a 7 year old say that? Therapy may help, but it may make it worse because he may feel to many adults are against him. Try a Mom's day out, creating the calmest most fun and relaxing environment you can and see if you can get him to open up to you a bit.

My 7 year old daughter doesn't usually lash out, she's normally well behaved. There has been a few occasions when she has publicly (at restaurants) yelled at me, and demanded an explanation as to why I "made Daddy go away", and she had a full hysterical crying episode.

The thing is, Daddy left...and he didn't come back. I don't know where he is, why he hasn't called or come back...that's what I told her...from the 'I don't know where he is' part. I added that wherever he is,he loves you very much...even though in my head I'm screaming that he's a deadbeat bastard.

I guess, sometimes kids hold resentment to the person who is there, maybe because there's no one else to take it out on.

Yesterday I WAS on the floor crying and wondering how I would ever survive my six year old son"s rage attacks. He was really angry at his dad(abusive situation)when we left;my son asked me to take him away forever. Eventually we worked through the rage(mine and his), hurt, sadness and I thought we were ok until he spent time with his Dad. One weekend in seven months at the house we moved from. Since then he has been miserable, throwing things, breaking things, kicking me punching me swearing and calling me an idiot. He said he is sick of it just being the two of us and it's no fun..he wants it to be the whole family. I kept asking him(calmy..I have learned works best)why..why are you so angry..and he looked at me with a really blank look and said..I don"t know..I thought it was perhaps the stuff his dad said to him about me(how I am keeping his siblings from visiting, how it's my fault..)now I think it could be from seeing his old home and having a good time with his dad..who was on his best behavior. He has forgotten why we left and he is hurting. I NEED to understand boys...A man at Legal Aid told me today that this divorce is a massive security loss for a boy..boys need their Dads he said..It's our backup.men are just like that...He also told me that my son probably doesn"t feel safe anymore and when boys do not feel safe they lose their confidence..and it will show in all sorts of ways..It was like this guy KNEW me...hit the nail on the head..my son is always afraid now.he wants to buy a guard dog and is always talking about how to be safer...I couldn"t figure it out because he also stopped wanting to go to hockey which he loves..and he didn"t want people watching him..lost his confidence in himself...I think women do not know much at all about boys and dads and what a crucial relationship this is. I have had more than one man tell me boys NEED their Dads...My son gravitates to men no matter where we go...
Anyway I was very hurt by my son"s abusive behavior toward me and it took a lot of reading on my part to put his behavior into perspective..FEAR for a lot of men(maybe women...not me though) fear is expressed as anger...so my son was SO scared..is so scared...He is out of control.I know he loves me..he"s just a kid trying to cope. He apologizes after and asks me like 100 times...do you hate me..yesterday was the worst day ever and I did really feel like I could not go on having him live with me..I mean being beat up by your kid every day and screamed at...takes its toll...I got him into Big Brothers organization and last night was his first ski lessons with his new big brother...(23 year old electrical engineer..super guy) and they spent 3 hours together..the last thing the BB said to my son in the parking lot was..'Be nice to your Mom!' How did he know what had happened that afternoon between us...he didn't. But he came from a divorced home and lived with his mother so I am guessing he knows what it is like for single mothers of son. I also called to get my son into counselling..I noticed he really likes having one on one with other adults..in general..He really emphasizes that this person is JUST FOR ME, Mom..like the counsellor or big brother cannot replace dad, but it does perhaps fill some of the gaping hole where confidence is missing.
Today, I feel so cut off from the rest of the world..like we are doing such a difficult job and yet no one else seems to understand why we are late for school some days or forget a library book etc..the world is pretty judgemental..does anyone else feel like this

Yesterday I WAS on the floor crying and wondering how I would ever survive my six year old son"s rage attacks. He was really angry at his dad(abusive situation)when we left;my son asked me to take him away forever. Eventually we worked through the rage(mine and his), hurt, sadness and I thought we were ok until he spent time with his Dad. One weekend in seven months at the house we moved from. Since then he has been miserable, throwing things, breaking things, kicking me punching me swearing and calling me an idiot. He said he is sick of it just being the two of us and it's no fun..he wants it to be the whole family. I kept asking him(calmy..I have learned works best)why..why are you so angry..and he looked at me with a really blank look and said..I don"t know..I thought it was perhaps the stuff his dad said to him about me(how I am keeping his siblings from visiting, how it's my fault..)now I think it could be from seeing his old home and having a good time with his dad..who was on his best behavior. He has forgotten why we left and he is hurting. I NEED to understand boys...A man at Legal Aid told me today that this divorce is a massive security loss for a boy..boys need their Dads he said..It's our backup.men are just like that...He also told me that my son probably doesn"t feel safe anymore and when boys do not feel safe they lose their confidence..and it will show in all sorts of ways..It was like this guy KNEW me...hit the nail on the head..my son is always afraid now.he wants to buy a guard dog and is always talking about how to be safer...I couldn"t figure it out because he also stopped wanting to go to hockey which he loves..and he didn"t want people watching him..lost his confidence in himself...I think women do not know much at all about boys and dads and what a crucial relationship this is. I have had more than one man tell me boys NEED their Dads...My son gravitates to men no matter where we go...
Anyway I was very hurt by my son"s abusive behavior toward me and it took a lot of reading on my part to put his behavior into perspective..FEAR for a lot of men(maybe women...not me though) fear is expressed as anger...so my son was SO scared..is so scared...He is out of control.I know he loves me..he"s just a kid trying to cope. He apologizes after and asks me like 100 times...do you hate me..yesterday was the worst day ever and I did really feel like I could not go on having him live with me..I mean being beat up by your kid every day and screamed at...takes its toll...I got him into Big Brothers organization and last night was his first ski lessons with his new big brother...(23 year old electrical engineer..super guy) and they spent 3 hours together..the last thing the BB said to my son in the parking lot was..'Be nice to your Mom!' How did he know what had happened that afternoon between us...he didn't. But he came from a divorced home and lived with his mother so I am guessing he knows what it is like for single mothers of son. I also called to get my son into counselling..I noticed he really likes having one on one with other adults..in general..He really emphasizes that this person is JUST FOR ME, Mom..like the counsellor or big brother cannot replace dad, but it does perhaps fill some of the gaping hole where confidence is missing.
Today, I feel so cut off from the rest of the world..like we are doing such a difficult job and yet no one else seems to understand why we are late for school some days or forget a library book etc..the world is pretty judgemental..does anyone else feel like this

YES YES AND YES you WILL get through this. 7 is a hard age. Kids that young don't always know what to do with their frustration. Talk to his teacher and school counselor to help guide him to proper ways to venting. Don't take it personal. We aren't parents to be best friends, we are parents to be parents and often times that means they don't like us. He does love you, and yes he may want to live with his father. I call the "the grass is greener on the other side" complex. Trust me if he went there he'd eventually be yelling the same things at his dad. You will get through it.

Something a friend of mine said was "atleast he feel safe to tell you how he feels". Another thing was he could tell me how he felt and be safe doing that but he could not disrespect me with out disciplinary actions. I had to NOT take what was going on with the boys as a personal attack on me, even if it was. Blessings and Good Luck.