so here goes. i'm in a, well what i have considered a unique situation due to the fact that i know no one else in it. i am, have been the mr. mom. having the children every night, handling all the drudgery (cleaning, cooking, laundry) myself. i have two wonderful boys, the light of my life, i just now am really starting to grieve for the loss of a really desired family unit. our agreement has been really informal, she gets the kids in the morning, and does very little with them. i feel she has always jumped at the chance to be without them, goes out, has fun. since our split especially. i take them because they deserve to be at home, in as close to a family unit as possible. the kids are six and two, the younger probably,(though i will NEVER tell him this) the beginning of the end of our relationship. she wanted more kids, i kept putting her off, we were just getting ahead of the game, i was home alone with one every night, she showed no intentions of getting a new job, hell even turned down a first shift position at the same company for selfish reasons. her solution to this was to stop taking her birth control and not tell me. six weeks. six weeks is all it took and i found a positive test in the trash. not hidden mind you, right on top. that's how i found out. now, i LOVE kids, always have, i wanted more, so i immediately forgave her, with the deal that leaving me alone at night with a three year old and an infant would overwhelm me. well it didn't, i survived, nothing changed. i bought a house, we all moved in and the fighting continued, and then that's when i found the paper open to "available to rent". again, out in the open,
for me to find.three months later i asked her to leave. and she did. keep in mind, i went to THREE different counselors with her, when what i wanted was for her to understand the choices she has made, so mabye i could too. so she left, i kept the house, and the kids, because who would watch them at night? her leaving brought me past the brink of financial ruin, thanks to my father i still have my house. my eldest just started kindergarten, a.m., so she now sees him very little. recently, the last few months, i've had the kids for most weekends, or for at least one of the days. my son's first parent-teacher conference happened last week, she didn't come. we have no formal agreement, i pay for the healthcare, she pays for the daycare. i don't see her making a move to first shift any time soon (she's been talking for years) but if she does, she may have a chance. however she is moving in with her brother and his girlfriend, who are complete slobs, and is getting together with a former friend of mine ,younger, who still lives at home!
i really need some advise on how, and when to make this move to get custody. how i can do it that will leave her no option. hell right now there is none, i can't see a judge taking them out of the house that they LIVE in, with their father, the guy who works full time twenty miles away, races to the day care and home again jiggety jig, cooks dinner, and puts them to bed every night as i've done for six years. she has never chosen, and the choice was hers to make, to have a normal family life with us. i just want to ensure that i don't lose them.. anyone that can help, advise, hell just give a nod, give me a shout. thanks. i hope this was not too much, i really need to get some of this stuff off my chest to people who understand. sorry to say this is just the tip. thank you all----wes