Shyness Support Group

Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc. The initial cause of shyness can vary. Scientists have located some genetic data that supports the hypothesis that shyness is at least partially genetic.

1,495 Members
1,646 Posts
3 Online
Mental Health
/ Shyness Support Group

Scared to death

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am scared to death of life. I have no idea how I've made it 41 years. I white knuckle everything once I leave the comfort of my home and I feel anxious and scared to look and sound so stupid.

I just started a new job and I want to quit. I'm scared to death of looking like an idiot. I have to sell reverse mortgages on the phone and I fear people hearing me on the phone. Yesterday I called and told them I was working from home, which I did, but I told myself it was because of the fight I had with my boys, but primarily it was an excuse to make some calls from home so no one could hear me.

I don't make new friends easily at all. I don't know much about anything and can't make small talk let alone talk intelligently about other bigger things.

Today I feel so anxious and panicky. I have such a terrible memory and can't even make change. Simplke math scares me to death. I just feel so stupid.

I'm good at keeping my house clean and getting dinner for everyone, but other than that I feel completely stupid. I have missed out on so much in life because I'm just afraid of looking like an idiot. I fake my confidence and fake most of my life. I wish I was a confident person who could talk and be liked by people.

Sorry to just blabber on... I'm having a really bad day and it will take everything in me to go to work later. :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi,don't feel alone i feel the same way too. i am good at home life and kids for the most part but other things i feel like a retard(no offense). What is simplke math? maybe look into finding a job where you could clean houses,some pay good money..hope things work out for you...message me sometime if you like..marisa
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, thanks so much for the reply. Simple math is adding and subtracting. It just never stuck with me. I can't do it quickly in my head. It's embarrassing. I hate that my memory stinks. I never could memorize the multiplication table either. Sigh! =)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Gosh it's like an echo. I used to feel the same exact way! I've overcome a lot of what you're going through and it does get better. I just got a new job also, and I had to make phone calls in front of people. It really sucked but I did it anyway and after it was over I got to say to myself, "Well at least I did all of that instead of copping out." Give yourself credit, and let yourself rest too.

Have you tried any kind of therapy? Therapy has helped me a lot, especially exposure therapy, although it's quite painful at times. Try to realize that not everyone is listening or looking over your shoulder all the time.

I've put myself down before, like saying I'm only good for being a wife and a good cook. But there's more than that. We're in 2007 and we're allowed to have a career and be happy in other areas, I hope you can find more confidence :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, I understand how you feel. I have just started a new job as well and also feel i am stupid. I also cant even pick up a phone and make a simple call to other staff without first thinking about what i should say and what it must sound like. Also.. i think because of this i get so stressed about small tiny things that i do end up making stupid mistakes and missing simple things that others dont. which re-inforces to me that i am stupid. For the maths side..... my problem was in giving out correct change. I actually did make mistakes in one of my jobs- embarrassingly so. Someone told me that Maths is something which is practiced- so i practiced and although i still do have problems and get nervous around money- now i can work out giving change to people and i havent made a mistake for a while. Also.. learn to not be embarrased to check with the calculator. (my practice actually used a computer program which repeated maths questions- it was really hard at first but helped a LOT). good luck with your job-- dont hide at home it will just make you feel worse :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Gosh I had the same problem with that math thing! I used to work at a job where I would occasionally have to work at the cashier, and I would have thoughts of intentionally falling or hitting my head so I could go home. I never did any of that but that's how bad I hated it!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks so much for all the replies. It means a lot knowing I'm not alone. The job is going okay, but I need to get a full-time job. Or get busy pushing these sales.

LOL
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • carrie415

    Widow/Widowers Traveling/Cruise Trips??

    Posted by: carrie415
    Last Reply: Myfavorite
    11
    I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: lovesloons
    11
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...