well im just a kid but i hope i can help. anything can be a conversation starter, from something on the news, a joke, a purposely caused accident (that works wonders for me n_n)
just something that would let others aknowledge you as an individual rather than just a person. we all have to get pass that painfully obligatory politeness somehow lol

you sound like a really nice person - so just be yourself. of course make yourself talk a little - ask about the other persons kids - normally people can go on and on about them and that could be the doorway into more conversation.

yes indeed, i don't like that scenario either, and i worry about it ahead of time as well.

i seem to feel much more comfortable going to something like that as a husband or daddy than as just me.

it looks like that event has come and gone since this was posted. i'd love to hear how it went or hear comments from anyone about their experiences, dreading these things, going anyway and getting through them.

How did it go?

It will become more natural and comfortable the more you do it. Just keep doing it.

Have some topics prepared for conversation. Preparation is important. Too often we pepare ourselves for failure by ruminating over how shy we are. The only way to ward that off is to develop other interests and share them with others. The more we invest in what we don't like about oureselves the longer we stay in that vicious cycle. Invest in how you want to be. You get out of situations what you put into them.

Or decide you don't like social gatherings and stop torturing yourself.

So how did it go ? I understnad what your saying about wanting something then freaking out whn you get it. Laast I was suppose to go to my company Christmas party ( since can't drive had it arranged for someone to take me) then it dawn on me what I was about to do and I backed out. Extremely mad at myself today

It went well. Thank you all for asking. I was definitely the odd one out, but I did my best to include myself in conversation. Usually I just end up "listening" then get labeled "too quiet". I'm sure I still carry the label, but I did make an effort to talk (and then rethink too much about what I just said).

Good for you! Labels are labels because we stitch them on. You can remove the label by ripping it off or one stitch at a time. Either way... you can do it. You have already demonstrated that! Keep it up.

Karlee, I do the same thing. I think, why did I say that??? that was a stupid thing to say!!! etc.

I put more weight on things than the people who were subjected to my words do.

I can tell you, a speech class really helped. You might try taking one just for the theraputic effect :)

I am so glad you went.