
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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I am new to this community and am so glad I checked it out. Please read my journal for today for my background. It's too extensive to put here for now. I finally sought counseling about 3 mths. ago. My sex life is non-existant. My poor hubby is very understanding and gentle but it is hard to want to make love to your wife when you know there is every possibility that I will vomit after. I can have intercourse with no problem and am orgasmic. My problem is that due to how I was molested, I can't stand to be touched in an intimate manner. I sought the counseling to help in this area because it had reached a crisis point because I don't even like my kids to hold me for too long. It was fine when they were babies but are grown now and is a problem. My youngest is 11 and she likes to snuggle with me and it freaks me out. Can someone tell me if you experience this and if there are any things I can be doing to aid in my recovery with my counselor? I have been married for 14yrs and hubby has always been great, but things are getting worse (Iknow why..see journal) and I worry that sooner or later he will just have had enough. We both deserve to have a good sex life, but sometimes I think I would rather get divorced and just stay alone than to have to keep trying and trying.
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Things have gotten better, but sometimes I get impatient and wonder how much longer will it be until I can just have sex without any negative associations?
Actually, I've made a lot of progress in the last 2 months and I've mentally taken off some of the pressure to see improvement. I've also, without even realizing it at first, started experiencing more sexually, and therefore , increasing positive associations with being intimate. Conselling has definately helped with all that. Good luck with your healing process.
I think it is risky to and strive for a so called normal relationship. I look at relationships as a continuing growing process never perfect, never normal because i really don't know what is normal.
I know abuse really gets in the way of a great many things and especially relationships. I on one hand waited to long to realize that the abuse we both had suffered was affecting our marriage. It wasn't until after i was divored that i realized it.
You on the other hand have a wonderful opportunity to reconize the affects on your marrage.
I think there a real danger in over emphasing the impact on your marrage. Yes it has affected you but there is has to be a balance. It would be real easy for the abuse to be the overwhelming and dominant issue and that would be tragic. I think it is great you reconise this issue but don't let it cloud out the rest of your marriage.