Because i never let myself admit that it was abuse, I had literally convinced myself that it was consensual and i knew what I was doing. I never got to heal because i never addressed the issue.
Never cried over it or anything. Now that i look back i think it's probably one of the main reasoons I had horrible anger management issues as a child. And probably one of the main reasons i still have them today

I want to heal so I can have normal relationships with people and not be the way I am.

I mentioned this in my journal last week
I went to an AA meeting with my parents a couple weeks back, and there was one woman talking aobut her first meeting and how she ended up curled up on the floor crying. and she said, "the reason we go through so much pain, why we cry and bring ourselves almost to the point of suicide is that will to just be sane."
I felt that really applied to me. There are many reasons why I want to heal.
I really want to break the cycle of silence and secrecy within my family. I dont want to just cover it up like the rest of them I want to acctually be a sane, functional human being.

I am healing because there are so many things that bring joy to me and by living with hatred and self consciouness and sadness I cannot enjoy these things. I also cannot help my children to grow fully knowing the beauty of the world around them by secluding them because of past abuse. I need to heal because I know that my abuser is the one who is sick and demented and warped, not me. It took me many years to realize this, lots of therapy but I deserve to reach my dreams and goals. My abuser has taken enough already. I refuse to allow him anymore control in my head or over my life.

I am healing for my children. I really want to break the cycle. As well as to learn how to stand up for myself and not letting everyone walk all over me.

I don't know that I even wanted to heal. I didn't even know that was possible really. I never thought I would get beyond the hate and pain.

Even when I made my healing breakthrough, I was at a personal development/self-help workshop that wasn't even focused on healing from sexual abuse.

But things totally shifted for me. One morning I was still hating my dad and didn't really believe that anything else was possible. And that afternoon it was like everything changed. It was a total surprise.

I have some residual issues that I'm dealing with now. Mostly things that come up with my relationship with my boyfriend around sexuality.

I'm not used to seeing myself as sexual person. So I want to heal from this part of things because I'd love to have a fun, happy, healthy relationship with my partner.

i want to heal so i can love myself and others to the full extent that we all deserve, i want to heal so i can go a day without being angry at him, so I can contine a future without being afraid that i will be raped or forced to do things. so i can trust a man, right now i feel that all men could have the possiblity of hurting little kids, cause they have a male organ, id like to get married and have babies and not have to worry about if my husband was hurting them or not...thats my biggest fear is that ill have kids and someone will hurt them.

i would like to heal so i can know what it feels like to be in a close relationship with a man and not feel uncomfortable in some way. i want to heal so i won't blame myself anymore, and insane as it might sound, so i can forgive my abuser. forgiveness is not necessary to heal, but i would still like to be able to forgive him before i leave this world. i know there are more reasons i would like to heal, but for now, that's all i can think of.

I didn't want to heal at first. I had just reached a point where it was a case of deal with it or off myself to get away from the pain. 4 years later, I want to heal because I've had a taste of life and happiness. Who wouldn't want more of that?

i agree with many of you. at this stage in my journey, i'm involved in a fairly serious relationship with a wonderful man...we've discussed marriage, and even though it was casually, it still freaked me out. i don't want to drag these fears and insecurities, all this crappy baggage into my marriage. i've also had a taste of what it is to truly live, and not just merely exist...and i want more....lots more.
thought the abuse ended 15 years ago, i really haven't been ready to deal with ALL of it with a support system in tact until now. i've tried healing on my own, and i just punked out first time things got hard and ran. no more running, no more hiding. tis time to feel the healing!