i've been asking myself this for a long time =[
there are two posts here that really helped me to understand a little.

http://dailystrength.org/discussions/Sexual_Abuse/messages/1427315

http://dailystrength.org/discussions/Sexual_Abuse/advice/1436167

a lot of the time, i think some ppl just don't care about others. Sometimes people just don't see anything outside of themselves. Like they are in such a bad place that there mind just doesn't have room for anyone else.
Sociopaths...ppl with out sympathy, empathy and feeling.
and that's when i feel hate...true pure and solid. it scares me to feel that way... they say choose your enemy wisely... heh i'm so angry and scared. and i don't want to be.

jndoe I agree with some of the things you said. The links you took me to wasn't even close. I do not mirror this people. I want to protect children. I do not and never will hurt children. The only things I hate true and pure or child molesters , rapist and murders. Thanks for replying.

sad to say, but statistics says that most abusers were themselves abused. It is a viscious cycle, and one I wish we could stop before it pollutes the next generation

I dont understand why they do it- but if it could be so easily understood, it wouldnt be such a horrid crime, would it? Point is, I dont think people like us could ever understand the kind of people like those who have hurt us. There is no understanding the illogical. Their actions can not be understood, accepted, or forgiven.

Yeah they do say that a lot of people who was abused will abuse. You don't have to be a statics. I am 28. I have not hurt children and I will not. I have never wanted to . I protect children. If I see the slightest things I get upset.

Everyone who is abuse do NOT abuse. Many became protectors.

They are just sick. That's the only explanation that I have; sick or evil.

People of such nature make me vomit. I'm a victim of rape myself, and so is my 10yr old son.
His happened at a childcare centre when he was 4. Each day I hurt and try to live with his pain as well as mine.
The thing I hate is, even when u try ur hardest to protect ur children, such sick behaviour can occur.
I wish i could hve killed all of the men who harmed me, and the wh harmed my child. I know I'm better than that, as two wrongs dont make a right.
The thought is lovely though.

Dk about the "mirroring" concept...I'm not familiar with that term. I do believe in something similar though. I believe it's not uncommon for children get "enmeshed" in their parents pathologies and especially family secrets. They incorporate something, attitudes and/or behaviors, that have nothing to do with them into their lives...the abuse becomes part of them. A false part to be sure but part of them nonetheless. Thankfully the vast majority of people that were abused as children do not grow up to be abusers themselves but some do...if fact, I think most, not all, but most abusers or those that marry abusers have sexual abuse in their own backgrounds. Not an excuse for there is none but just a reality. It's a learned behavior. No one is born an abuser. I think some children...albeit unconsciously...identify with the aggressor and re-enact the aggression that was perpetrated on them. Still others, identify themselves as a victim and remain in a victim role throughout life, Still other do neither of these but still spend a lifetime suffering the affects of the abuse...anger, alienation, unjustified guilt and shame etc. Some are true pedophiles and are sexually fixated on children while others are regressed pedophiles and the abusive acts have more to do with power and control than sex. The "why's" can be many

Fixated, regressed...whatever the reason or motivation it just doesn't matter...they are all rooted in evil. It's a choice to commit evil. Anyone who chooses to to defile, take and destroy the innocence of a child for any reason is beyond sick...it's engaging in an unadulterated evil that changes the course of the child's life forever.

i feel sick.

naynay

i didn't mean to imply that you were mirroring anyone =[
i'm sorry

what i ment was...
it helped me to understand why some ppl do these things even after they themselves have been abused and they are grown.

Also it helps my understand why i participated with other children in these things when i very young. I call it participation because i was a part of a group of kids in various crack houses and dealers homes. [my parents]

all of us abused...around the same age, and simply did not know better. I don't consider for an instant that i am interested in doing such things to kids. now or ever. and i definitely don't think all abuse victims become abusers.

honestly, when i was a child,...i never knew it was wrong to behave this way. i just didn't know that's not how ppl normally are.

something i've held onto for my entire life. i will always hate myself for it. But it helps to know that somehow i did learn very young, i don't know how, school? even while my own
abuse continued.
And i became scared of other children when i saw that this wasn't how ppl should be. When someone showed me the existence of love and kindness... that person prolly has no idea, but she saved me.

i still thought that a lot of kids were like sick like that when your alone with them,...so i withdrew from every soul on this earth.
When i'm talking about hate...i'm talking about the ppl who have seen that this isn't healthy or okay and continue to do it....i'm talking about the adults who hurt us all while we were living there.

to this day i can't look at a child with out fear. what if someone's hurting them right now?
i'm sorry if this offends you, i don't mean it you be offensive or argumentative. i just thought the post might help you understand why some ppl do this.

Thanks everyone. Ya'll are helpful. I needed to get some anger out. Yes still anger at them after all this time.

this is my most vigourous plea! Thank you for voicing truth.

I am not sure what to say other than THANK YOU.

Going thru a support group for rape/incest survivors, I've learned like many said, they have had it happen to them b4 and it is a CONTROL thing. Alot of abusers are in a place of pwer such as policemen,clergy,and other various ppl. Also ppl you would never think to do so. It really stinks and I surely don't have all the answers but it any one of us can learn from it, we may be able to help the next generation. Peace. Dakotatears

Dakotatears you speak the truth. Many of this people are in positions of authority. Really sad. I do wonder where are you supposed to turn when that happen. I don't have the answer ether . I do try to help the next generation. I try to protect them. When I find out something bad happened to them . I go with them to report it. Thanks so much for replying your words our honest and heartfelt.