I don't pretend to understand it. I guess if I did, then I would be one of them. The only thing I can think of is that they either become obsessed with some kind of taboo sexual gratification or they feel so damaged and hurt that they want to get back at the world.

The facts are that the majority of the abused do NOT become abusers and there are other factors involved besides sexual abuse such as the mother being the one who did the abuse, neglect, or very little supervision, violence within the family, etc. And it isn't ALWAYS about sex with the abused/abuser.....very complex, individual and difficult to ever understand.

i think if it happend when they where children it may be the only way to show there "love" or "care" to another person. i no people change there ways my dad did he changed the pattern in his family he was psycical/mentaly/emotionaly abused brom birth til 41 never did he abuse us kids, he would spank my brothers when they did something really wrong but he never spanked me

If you think about it carefully...children mimic what they see and hear do they not? And when you see and hear abuse on a daily basis it becomes part of the daily routine and in a way, the child is taught that this type of behaviour is the norm and so as they grow older they carry out this type of behaviour believing it to be normal because that's what they grew up with. And that's how the cycle of abuse continues.

There are some who realise that this is not correct as they are growing up and they try to break that cycle but it's not an easy thing to do sometimes especially when something has been inground into you for so long.

There's a saying...it takes 21 days to make or break a habit and there is some validity in that statement where certain circumstances are concerned, although it takes a lot more than 21 days to break the cycle of abuse.....as I'm sure you've already figured out.

great input. It is amazing to me to see just how complicated this is.

I think there is some truth to it. I posted a discussion aimed at other lesbians because I am finding that women are triggering each other and alternating playing roles of victim and victimizer in trauma re-activation. When I look at myself, I can see it sometimes. Buried, but there. I don't think that I would ever act on it, but I can't be honest and say that it doesn't exist.

Maybe some are abused so badly that they grow up thinking that this kind of thing is ok, while others grow up knowing that it's not. It's all in the person, I believe. The person, the events and their environment. That's only my guess and opinion so take it for what it may be worth.