Does your boyfriend know that you were molested? If he does then he should understand how uncomfortable that situation would be for you. My husband knows about my past, yet sometimes I have to remind him in the heat of passion that I do not like something or I don't feel like messing around. Guys always have sex on their mind, it is the way they were made so that our species would survive. You need to set boundaries with your boyfriend and tell him that at times you are not going to feel like messing around or that certain things make you uncomfortable. If you cannot tell him these things, then you shouldn't be having sex with him. With a relationship comes all the baggage each of you brings to it. If he doesn't understand and he doesn't stop when you tell him too, then you need to let him go.

If I could go back in time to situations like that in my life (where the guy was moving on me and I didn't want him to) knowing what I know now, I would get out of the relationship and work on healing myself.

You're only 19. And it is so hard to heal when you're in a situation where you're constantly being re-triggered. It can be a good catalyst if you know what to do when you're triggered, but if you don't, it's like a downward spiral.

If you're up for it, choose to be single for a while and don't get involved with guys right now. It's like I'd tell an alcoholic in recovery not to go into a bar because of the tendency to be triggered into buying a drink.

So for us, it's like how can we support ourselves in not being triggered when we're trying to heal?

First of all when someone says no or stop. That should be the end of any attempt on his part. If you want a relationship with this person you should be able to trust him to know why going slow..is so important to you. If he does not seem to understand or even want to than thats a big red flag...no means no...if you fell taken advantage of then you were. Your body belongs to you no one else!!!!!

why are stupid men deaf also?????
no is no,stop is stop,leave me alone is leave me alone!! grrrrrrr

why do they think if we say no we mean yes ! maybe tell him what you want him to no if he love/cares for you he will understand ...if not then find somone who does hun!

When you say stop, your saying no in my book so as far as I am concerned he violated you. Mosleted you, raped you. He was selfish and you do not need that. You need to not be with him. I am sorry this happened to you. You were a victim before, he made you a victim again.
I hope you are ok and get rid of this guy before he gets to where you can't get him to stop.

I agree with Ecoanthrogirl.

He may just not know that it was really making you uncomfortable.

I'm afraid that I havea double-standard on this though. I frequently continue to touch by bf even when he says no. We have been together for a few years now and live together though, and I know when his "no" is really serious. If he really means it I stop, but I definitely don't stop as soon as he says to, because sometimes he ends up wanting to be touched.

If you make it really clear, and he still doesn't stop or gets mad, I think you should get out of the relationship before it gets worse.

if he's not getting the message, dump him, he's not worth your time or effort