What I remember happening to me when I was little would be defined as molestation, fondling and so forth. The thing is, even though I don't have distinct memories of it happening, I can feel in my gut that there's more and I want to say that he raped me. But without remembering it for sure, I don't feel right saying that. But I think that it sort of redefines my experience. Maybe I shouldn't get tied down in the lingo, but it means something to me, even though it probably shouldn't.
Does anyone have any thoughts about how to express what happened to me? It's so frustrating not having a clear picture of my abuse, because it makes me question myself all the time, and I never know quite how to feel about my abuse because I'm not even sure what all happened! So confused and lost...