Wow... you've never been able to feel anger? That sounds frustrating. I may not know what I'm talking about but I think you will feel anger when your inner child (your 13 year old abused self) feels safe enough to come out and show how she really feels. It may be soon, it may not be for many years... but I think it will happen when you're ready. When it does, it will probably happen suddenly and unexpectedly, and be very intense, so I would suggest having some numbers on hand of a couple tharapists or people you can talk to when it happens. Prepare yourself as much as you can now, so when it eventually happens, it won't be as devastating or frightning.

Thanks BMarie. it is kind of frustrating, because i feel just plain odd about not being able to get angry. i've only disclosed the details of the abuse once or twice out loud (though i've written it quite a bit). my therapist is encouraging me to tell him the details even though i've written it out for him. anytime i've ever disclosed i freeze/shut down. i'm far more prone to anxiety and panic than anything. gotta love PTSD. not.

I think I have only recently started to feel anger about anything. The first one i had was a split moment after a flashback and i cried for ages cause i felt weak for feeling like that. Anger will come back and with it all the things to enable you to figure out how you feel about it. Be safe.

I can totally relate to your frustration as I feel no anger towards my ex boyfriend at all and yet feel I should. I have no real experience advice but others say it will come. I hope it does for you just like me. be in touch. lemming

I agree with BMarie. I had a lot of years of anxiety & depression too. I get angry or frustrated alot with meaningless things, but until recently, couldn't let go of my anger - just buried it b/c i was afraid that i would lose control if i let it out. It has been about 10 years since my abuse stopped & i have talked openly about it with some friends & family for about 9 years. But only in the past few months have i really been able to actually face it. I have let go of some of my anger too. Finally confronted my father - of course he denied it, but at least i don't have to pretend around him anymore & if i don't speak to him ever again, he will know why. Your father probably has convinced himself that he is innocent b/c he might not have done "this" or "that", so "it wasn't abuse". My dad used the term "teasing" to describe what he did to my sisters & I. My counselor even said that most offenders (even when court ordered to do group therapy after their punishments) continue to deny that what they did was wrong. Ok, got carried away (happens alot - lol). I hpe that someday you can release your anger that is buried. just don't take your anger out on yourself.

It is there, trust me it took me years. before that it was just a numb void. No one wanted to listen, no one wanted me to be upset, cry, or acknolege my feelings. Eventually I should down and didn't have any.

Now everyone is upset because I am not "Happy".

Okay, you could be talking about me. I can so relate to what you said. I would go to therapy and tell my therapist- I'm sure I have anger about this, but I just can't feel it. Had 2 years of counselling and a year or so of Reiki before I felt safe enough to have anger. We weren't allowed to be angry in our household, so we just repressed it and denied it and buried it. My counsellor tried to get me to throw pillows, or hit stuff, but I just couldn't. Too terrifying. There was a lot of anger and mostly verbal violence in our house growing up, but only by my dad. So anger has always been terrifying to me. But then I thought I would like to hit something with a bat, but just couldn't do it. So my Reiki therapist just kept bringing the bat, and when I would start to get mad, I could eventually just hold the bat. Took weeks before I could actually give something a lame little tap. Finally got up the guts to stat whacking, and I never looked back. Would show up for therapy and tell her I needed to whack stuff. I whacked pillows for weeks! It was great. And then I just didn't need to any more. But lately I've been thinking about asking her for that bat, because I think it might help the stress, but I think I need that bat to do it. So be patient. When you are ready for the anger, you'll feel it. This is your mind setting the schedule so you can get better but stay safe emotionally to do it. Good luck, and when you can, have a whack for me!

I can completely relate to not feeling anger. I actually can't feel much of anything at all. During the 7 years of abuse from my brother, in order to protect the secret, I trained myself not to show any emotion at all. It was easy to do, because I was picked on so much at school, everytime I wanted to cry, or get angry, I would just repeat in my head "It dosent matter, its nothing, no emotion, your nothing, worthless, it dosent matter." until it didn't anymore. THe problem is, to this day, years later, I can't cry or get mad. I feel nothing. I hae been to several close relatives funerals including my fathers, and I could not cry. It's like riding a bike, or tying your shoes, once you learn, you never forget. It's a pathetic way to live, but i'm with you on it.

when i was abused, i denied that it was abuse. and spent 7 years in and out of depression until i ended up in a mental hospital last year...i didn't realize what happened to me until someone else shared what happened to them...first the anxiety came out, then i became angry at their abuser. i still cannot be angry at the person who abused me. i guess a part of me is still in denial or something.

"...i reported him to the authorities when it happened, wasn't believed," and,"...i have a full range of most other emotions, and a hefty dose of anxiety,"

Survival mode. Mandatory counseling doesn't work, either. Been down that road and all I did was take advantage of the poor woman. Can't say when, but it will come. Believe me.

Silent, I'm willing to bet (and i'm not a betting woman) that down deep, hidden, is a whole well full of anger inside you. And you just haven't tapped into it yet. Have you started counceling on your own? I hope so. I wish you the best on your healing journey.

I haven't read all the replies but I will say this... Anger while it is a necessary feeling it is also just a base... I always feel anger... Anger is an easy emotion to feel. But normally anger = anxiety, disappointment, hurt, resentment, saddness, frustration, exposure....

Half of my therapy sessions I have about any issue that has made me angery is really spent trying to deconstruct what anger really means...

The fact of the matter that anger is a socially acceptable emotion... anxiety, hurt, saddness are less so... So if these are the other things that you are feeling you are probably hitting the heart of the problem more so than bundling it all up in an angry ball.

example... I so angry with my rapist. I was the moment it all went down... but while I was pissed at hime for taking advantage of me... I was angry because i felt used, because i was embaraased, sad, lonely, anxious, because my work was totally changed... so i felt anger but I was angry because I was feeling hurt and whole other schmorgesboard (I totally spelled that wrong) of things...

But i also agree you probably have also not tapped the anger well... you will no need to rush it or fake it.

You know what? I've been meaning to say this, but not sure it would make sense.

So. Here it goes. Take advantage of this moment. Write it down. Read it aloud, to yourself so that these moments of absent-anger is...and this is where I'm developing it.

What I mean is...when and/if the anger comes, and I really hope it won't, the journal, the writing of those moments is the landmark posts you can rely on. Does that makes sense? I mean, this is a potentially good sign. To write it down? I don't know, I'm sorry, it seemed better in my head.

I can't really say much in this situation, seeing as I have no valuable advice to give, but I hope you find the root to all of this, and get to the bottom of being able to feel anger.

Unfortunately for my family and friends, anger was all I -could- feel for about four years after I reported my father. However, I think I was more angry at myself for letting myself be put through it all.

Good luck :]