Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hello everyone, I am new here and I am not sure if this is the right group for me to join. I appreciate that there will be a lot of people on here with horrific experiences that compare in no way to my own and I dont even know if mine counts as a sexual abuse experience. Anyway, I am here because I am struggling greatly since this happened and was hoping there might be someone who could help or point me to the right place.
I have a mental health condition and a little over a year ago was put on some very heavy medication for this not long before I ended up in a psychiatric ward. I had a boyfriend at the time and the relationship was going badly, mostly contributed to by my condition and incompatibility. Our sex life was non existent. After being on this medication for a couple of days, I was highly sedated and my boyfriend had sex with me without my consent. I couldn't move or talk to say stop. It was painful and horrible and I didnt feel like I was in my body. It was like watchin it happen.
Prior to this, when we did have sex (consentually) he would hurt me and id ask him to be more gentle or stop and he would never listen. I guess this is why i started refusing to have sex at all.
Anyway, It has been a little over a year and I find sex very hard. Not all the time... if very drunk it tends to be ok. But I just think about what happened and I feel sick and recoil into myself. The problem was mostly with sex but more recently it has extended to being kissed or hugged. Sometimes even when my friends give me a hug It makes me feel horrible.
the emotions/feelings range from sickness, anger, hurt, disgust, fear and various other things. I sometimes get anxiety attacks when thinking about it and also the experienced has not helped with my mental health condition. I have tried to have relationships and intimacy but it fails and I feel a little like it would be easier to just remain completely alone and never consider being with anyone ever again.
so theres my story. I know most of you would swap experiences for this as it will be nowhere near as horrific as your own, but I hoped there might be someone who could help or advise me.
Sorry If i am in the wrong place.
I have a mental health condition and a little over a year ago was put on some very heavy medication for this not long before I ended up in a psychiatric ward. I had a boyfriend at the time and the relationship was going badly, mostly contributed to by my condition and incompatibility. Our sex life was non existent. After being on this medication for a couple of days, I was highly sedated and my boyfriend had sex with me without my consent. I couldn't move or talk to say stop. It was painful and horrible and I didnt feel like I was in my body. It was like watchin it happen.
Prior to this, when we did have sex (consentually) he would hurt me and id ask him to be more gentle or stop and he would never listen. I guess this is why i started refusing to have sex at all.
Anyway, It has been a little over a year and I find sex very hard. Not all the time... if very drunk it tends to be ok. But I just think about what happened and I feel sick and recoil into myself. The problem was mostly with sex but more recently it has extended to being kissed or hugged. Sometimes even when my friends give me a hug It makes me feel horrible.
the emotions/feelings range from sickness, anger, hurt, disgust, fear and various other things. I sometimes get anxiety attacks when thinking about it and also the experienced has not helped with my mental health condition. I have tried to have relationships and intimacy but it fails and I feel a little like it would be easier to just remain completely alone and never consider being with anyone ever again.
so theres my story. I know most of you would swap experiences for this as it will be nowhere near as horrific as your own, but I hoped there might be someone who could help or advise me.
Sorry If i am in the wrong place.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
You were raped, NO question in my mind. You didn't say no because you couldn't say no. Men drug women in bars to do this sort of thing.
I hope you can get the help you are looking for here and locally.
im so sorry for what ur ex did to you. That is totally unacceptable and I would say abusive. Sex should be consentual and you being drugged and helpless is not consentual. also a loving, caring bf would think of your needs during love making and not just his own. he should respect your wishes during sex especially if you are being hurt. im sorry that now your trust has been betrayed and you have all these issues now.
i really hope with time you can move on and learn to trust and feel safe again.
Not all men are like this guy. Alot would consider your feelings and be gentle with you.
i have experienced something similar due to my ex cheating to me and deceiving me and as a result i havent let a man get close to me since and my trust has been shattered. in time i hope to build up that trust again.
Respecting yourself is important too. you deserve better than this treatment. you are worth alot more than that.
take care
I hope you find strenght and hope here.
Big hugs, G