
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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My uncle manipulated me and took advantage of me from the time I was 4 until around age of 12. The thing is, I do not remember most of the abuse. I told him to stop, and he always said "just a little bit longer".... he bribed me with his model cars because he knew I liked him. I think he fingered around on me more than intercourse, but like I said i really do not remember much yet. New memeories surface every day though and I do not know if I should believe them, or just think it is part of my imagination.
Was this really abuse?
I mean, if so why did I not scream or tell somebody,... Did I myself maybe enjoy some aspects of it?
I for the life of me cannot allow myself to get mad at this person even though it was effected almost ever detail of my life. I have trust issues, I hate sex (most of the time)up until recently I didn't think it was possible to love a guy... my parenting is even effected.
Was this really abuse?
I mean, if so why did I not scream or tell somebody,... Did I myself maybe enjoy some aspects of it?
I for the life of me cannot allow myself to get mad at this person even though it was effected almost ever detail of my life. I have trust issues, I hate sex (most of the time)up until recently I didn't think it was possible to love a guy... my parenting is even effected.
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I was taught that at certain ages the brain is incapable of such complex decissions. Don't balme yourself, YOU were a child and children can't think outside the box.
you were a child, you did what you thought will be good for you. Can't blame a kid for wanting model car.
I think reading what you wrote was suprising, you are not angry. I think it is good, I think you are in a better place. In most people it triggers an anger and poison starts spreading in their body/ mind.
So it doens't matter if you like it, or why you didn't scream, move on, concentrate on healing! you are not a kid anymore, let the little kid go and make choices of a grown up based on it.
Go see someone!
hugs
watch this, this is me sending you a real hug
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J25jTpshJ8I
Ronit
At one point the counselor really pressed me and the group as well. They all knew i was holding back some deep dark secret.
Well one session i blurred out my story and then waited to be thrown from the group as a nut case or freak or something.
I was 24 at the time. While waiting for the on slot of critism I was nearly passing out.
There was a very long pause. and the first voice i had heard was from a women of mothers age at the time. She simple said> Richard, honey, it was not your fault, you were just a kid. I had never seen this side of it. That was my turning point for the abuse healing. It was an amazing comment to me at the time. Nothing less than profound in my opinion.
you are not to blame. you too were just a kid. It really happened and it is your time to heal.
take care and good luck