Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I think the sexual abuse that has occured has made me who I am. Its relates to how I choose men and my religous beliefs to even trust and hiding feelings from others. We are the ones who have to feel dirty and less perfect to carry the burden with us everyday. I think what did I do? How could I of stopped it? No one would of listened anyway. My grandfather was a pastor for 45 years and well known. I mean even Clinton went to his funeral. Lil did people know his granddaughter the one he showed off to e1 was being touched and raped by him. Every Summer my mom would make me go there and I cried and fussed but all that happened was that I got yelled at. My grandmother knew what was happening. I use to sit there and watch him preach and wish he would keep going and going because I knew what was going to happen. I must of had a sign on my head saying f me over. I had no relief cause when I came home from one hell I went straight back in the fires. My dad raped and touched me to. I didnt know what was happening to me. Not only being abused sexually but physically. If you tell Ill kill your mother. Oh the crap I heard to be quiet and not say anything. I remember all the details from the when I was 3 up. It runs through my head over and over. Will it ever stop I doubt it. Now I moved on to another man who thought loved me and I gave him my heart and soul and even marriage and kids. Only to have the cycle back. Whats wrong with me!!!
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...
Take Care of You
My wife often says that to a stranger I can at times unknowingly strike fear of death into them with a look. Once in Manila I scared one of her cousins so bad she was afraid to even be in the same room with me and all I did was look at her. I had to go to her personally and befriend her and let her get to know me. Now she loves me. Sometimes I think some people are very sensitive and people can see my past in me as if they can read who I had to become to survive. That is why I do not talk about my past with the military at all. Yet with friends I am the most laid back and easy going person you will ever meet. I am not a very extroverted person. I am simply a guy that likes to have fun with those that he loves and I am very protective of those friends.
I believe that it is a mix of all of the above that has caused me to become what I am. I never will give up my hunt to eliminate the sexual predators, specifically pedophiles. Through all the threats and anger I dont think they have ever really met someone quite like me.