Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
3 Months ago, I started to open my can's of worms, yeah my historical rape/s, abuse, etc.
The main reason they all surfaced was from, having to take my 10 yr old son to counseling for sexual abuse..Yeah he was raped when he was 4, and it's majorly affecting his life now.I'm trying my hardest to be there at his side, to wrap him in my love and comfort for him to learn to live with it.
I also attend counseling, otherwise I would have lost the plot by now majorly.
I'm in more realisation of myself, my behaviour and who I really am and can be as a human being.
A few days ago I had an ex over for dinner.U know how it goes , one thing leads to another.
When his hand touched my skin, i felt like i wasnt present, well in that moment, i guess similar to astro travel.I have never felt this way since the crap in my life had happened.
As he started to touch my breasts, tears ran down my cheeks, but no words came out of my mouth. I was laying there still as a calm sea.
Feeling numb, and lost.
He moved his hands down further, and I just said to him, jst help urself and go.
He couldnt see my tears or facials.
This is difficult to get out, but i know this will also help me.When he was abt to go through with it, i turned to my side and vomited.
I told him to go.
Why the fuck did he have no Idea what was going on with me?
I'm sure he wasn't that dumb!
Someone I had known for years was going to just take advantage as such................
Since then I feel, really lost and weird.
Tears run dwn my cheeks now as I share this.
Fuck its unfair what we have taken away from us, at such young ages. As its more than sex.Man, i feel like im completely nuts sometimes.
The main reason they all surfaced was from, having to take my 10 yr old son to counseling for sexual abuse..Yeah he was raped when he was 4, and it's majorly affecting his life now.I'm trying my hardest to be there at his side, to wrap him in my love and comfort for him to learn to live with it.
I also attend counseling, otherwise I would have lost the plot by now majorly.
I'm in more realisation of myself, my behaviour and who I really am and can be as a human being.
A few days ago I had an ex over for dinner.U know how it goes , one thing leads to another.
When his hand touched my skin, i felt like i wasnt present, well in that moment, i guess similar to astro travel.I have never felt this way since the crap in my life had happened.
As he started to touch my breasts, tears ran down my cheeks, but no words came out of my mouth. I was laying there still as a calm sea.
Feeling numb, and lost.
He moved his hands down further, and I just said to him, jst help urself and go.
He couldnt see my tears or facials.
This is difficult to get out, but i know this will also help me.When he was abt to go through with it, i turned to my side and vomited.
I told him to go.
Why the fuck did he have no Idea what was going on with me?
I'm sure he wasn't that dumb!
Someone I had known for years was going to just take advantage as such................
Since then I feel, really lost and weird.
Tears run dwn my cheeks now as I share this.
Fuck its unfair what we have taken away from us, at such young ages. As its more than sex.Man, i feel like im completely nuts sometimes.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
it must be really difficult for you to be there and support your son while your going through these things too. you said that you started counseling, have you talked about this? or your past? or how to be there for your son and take care of yourself? I know what you mean about the lost and weird....i just don't feel like i fit in anywhere right now,....including my own head. Your not alone though, not by far! I keeo hearing it gets better....and i think i does in the in-betweens...in the good days i see it. your not crazy