what ever it is you have going on in your life it is not woorth leaving your kids behind without a mother to look after them. you can get through your turmoil, as your name suggests you WILL survive.... take a deep breath take a look at your kids and relax. dont let who ever has made you feel like this win... they are not worth it, if you want to talk just message me, i will try to help anyway i can x

What is worse, for them to grow up with a depressed mother, or for them to grow up without any mother at all? I don't know exactly what your situation is, but without you there, who else would be able to look after your kids and love them as much as YOU do? I can tell you right now that no one will ever show your kids the love and care they need and deserve as well as YOU can, depressed or not. And my kids say they don't remember my depression as much as they remember the love. That, in the end, is what will stand out with your children too, when they are grown. That despite the depression and the despair that you are going through, that you are able to love them and show them that love. Keep fighting the good fight, my friend. You will overcome this too, and I know this because I know how strong and courageous you have been, just to survive all that has happened to you.

dont give up. you will get through this. your kids will be worse off if you not there. mesage me if u wana chat. hugs to you

Growing up without a mother will be more damaging than growing up with a depressed one. If you commit suicide, you're children will always be thinking,"Did I make her do that?" They'll live with the guilt even though it wouldn't be their fault. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Please don't give up!

I have a child too, and have often thought about suicide. My child is the only reason I am still here. I am going to begin therapy soon, and I am hoping this will help. I try hard to be a good parent but find I get quite stressed at the smallest things. If you want to talk, feel free to message me.

I can't tell you how many times I've felt like giving up...that everyone will be better w/o me...but really that is a lie. Your kids need you more than you know. If you commit suicide part of them will die with you. It sounds like you really love them and would never want to hurt them like that. Hang in there... Things always get different, even if not better right away... So do whatever you need to do to get yourself out of the mindset that they'd be better without you...even if that means checking yourself into the hospital.

To give a different perspective, I grew up with a depressed mother who had been sexually abused. It was not always easy. In fact, sometimes it was hard. BUT, I would MUCH RATHER have had my mother around than not. Be there for your kids so that what happened to you won't happen to them. Not being there will be far more damaging for them.
Honestly, every family has shit in it. Depressed people, alcoholics, abusers, dysfunction, something. Humans are not perfect. We all screw up. But we can STRIVE to be better. We can try to stop the cycle of issues and abuse (my grandmother was sexually abuse, my mom was sexually abused, and so was I). I am working hard to try and break the cycle. We as humans aren't perfect, but we can just try to be better.

Nothing I said is helpful regarding your depression though... Are you seeing someone? Have you talked to anyone about your depression? I'm somewhat new to DS, and so it's a little hard to keep up. People here care. No one wants to see you kill yourself. Seriously. People are really supportive here. Please talk about things or send one of us a message. We will definitely listen. Definitely.

Thank you all so much for your support, I will not commit suicide but I feel myself spiraling downwards again and have a feeling I might end up in the hospital--I have virtually no support and my husband can't continue to take off as he doesn't get paid when he doesnt' work. I'm sick on top of it, so I think that's playing a part in this. My Dr. increased my Remeron to 45mg hope it helps.