
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

deleted_user
This 1 is driving me crazy. I was sexualy abused by my older brother my mother walked in on it and then turned right back round and walked out again. She let the abuse carry on under her nose. I resently tried to take my brother to court which did not happen because my mothers evidence did not back me up because she said she never walked in on it so. As i write this i feel angry and part of me is screaming get her out of your life but then there is a part of me that is so desperate for a mum. I know i cant trust her and if i ever have kids i have told her she will be going no where near. sorry i know this is a long winded question but should i just get her out of my life once and for all or is she better than no mum at all???
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don't make it a final thing. just distance yourself from your mom and your brother for a while. you need to think more clearly before making a drastic decision, you know? and your mom also needs to know that you're serious about this.
she probably feels stuck between her two kids in this, but she needs to stop looking at is as "choosing sides"; she needs to realize that by not coming out with this, she's teaching her son that what he did was "right" when it really isn't.
so just take some time away. and remember, you can always write to her or call her. also, are you seeing a therapist? have you and your mom seen one together? maybe that might help...
I think you have already come up with the answer yourself in the fact that you have already stated that you do not trust her nor would you trust her around your kids.
GO WITH YOUR GUT INSTINCT. If she didn't protect you as a child, she is not likely to do the same for your children and that puts them at potential risk.
she would have to be gone from me...That would be to much total trust lost...and how do you recover from that ??
did you ask her the question of Why she did Nothing ??
I do not know what the answer to that one is for sure...that is deep within your heart...that is a very tuff thing to overcome...a prayer for you...
bonnie
However, you need your mother in your life. You don't have to see him, but you do need to see her.
HOWEVER AGAIN, if you think it would help you to cut off contact with her for a little awhile, and if that's what you REALLY want, then that's what you should do.
Any therapist will tell you that the only way you can fix an abusive situation is to GET OUT OF THERE. If you feel like being around your mother is impeding your recovery, then tell her that. Be nice about it, but tell her that until she understands the affect this has all had on you, she doesn't have a place in your life because she makes you worse.
You're an adult now, and you have to do what's best for you.
"cut your mother out of your life", and others said not to.
This is probably the war going on inside of you. I can not give you advice.
My mother died when I was two. I was left with my father who used me sexually
to fulfill his needs. I spent my whole life trying to
recover and many many years trying to get him to love me.
I did not see him the last two years of his life. I could not stand his wet kisses and perverted hugs.
My family has disowned me since I spoke out about my abuse. Unfortunately I did this shortly before my Dad
died. It only took me 50 years. At some point you will find the answer within yourself. Until then, just do the best you can not to let your mother trigger you.
I hope things work out the to the highest good.
In order to try really hard to be politicaly correct I will add that you need to do what you can live with.
But keep safe and do for yourself what your mother did not do for you, protect yourself!
Personally, I'd tell her everything, ask her why, and if she doesn't give you a straight answer tell her to get the hell out.