Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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running away

deleted_user
deleted_user
The only way I was able to get the abuse to stop was by running away. I mean far away. I went overseas to a foreign country.
In this new country where they didn't speak english I was able to bury everything and concentrate on my new life - new husband, new work, new language, new life completely. Now I have been told I am losing my job, which means I will have to sell my house as there are no job opportunities here for me now, and besides, I want to leave the area. I have decided to move to another new country as I can't go back to the original one (for fear of my life) and I don't want to stay in this country. It seems I will be running away again. But I won't be running for a few months yet as have things to sort out here first - and to decide where to move to! Do I use these few months to confront the past and deal with it. Can I deal with it all in just a few months or does it take longer? or should I just bury it all again and make a new life in another new country (oh, husband will stay the same - don't want to change him.) If I do run away without confronting the past will it come back to haunt me again in time like it has done here?
I can't talk to my husband about it - he was just recently diagnosed with bipolar and is still learning to deal with that, as am I. And to be honest I prefer not to talk to people too close to me - is that wrong? I can't deal with their guilt / anger - I can't even deal with my own.
I am sorry if this is all mixed up and all over the place - it's the way my mind is at the moment. please can someone advise what to do?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, as far as I can tell there is never a "good" time to begin this journey (mostly because it is a painful one). If you do have some time when you can really focus it might be as good a time as any, if you're ready. I wish I could tell you that it would be all healed by the time you move, but that hasn't been the case for me. The more healing I do, the more I'm able to handle in terms of memories and new issues. I hope that you can find the support you need here to begin your journey. And no, it is not at all wrong that you prefer to talk to people that aren't too close. At some point you may feel more comfortable talking with those closest to you...and you may never feel comfortable talking to them. Either is okay, just as long as you have someone, somewhere, to give you the support you need. Take care! :o)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with sks12o6. None of these questions are yes or no. What makes you feel most comfortable so you can focus more on healing is the best choice. If you have the time no point on waiting. The goal should not be to wrap up by a certain date. Goal should be to stay on the journey and see it through to the prize. You are worth that such reward.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've only been in therapy a few months, but I can already tell a difference. However, I know I have a long way to go before I am truly healed. I don't think you can put a time frame on how long it will take to come to terms with your abuse. Some people will be in therapy a short time, some for years, and some for the rest of their lives. You have a couple of options:

You can begin counseling with a therapist now for a few months, and when you move and get settled, you can find a new therapist to continue the therapy with. If this is the first time you've felt truly motivated to confront the abuse, I'd probably go with this option. If you wait until you move, you might decide that it's just easier to bury it again. The downside of this is that you'll become close with a therapist only to have to pack up and find a new one. Just the thought of that may be overwhelming right now.

Another option is to wait until you're settled at your new home to begin therapy. This will eliminate the need to find a new therapist after a few months, but by the time you move, your motivation to confront your abuse may subside.

Another option is to try and bury the abuse. Unfortunately, this option rarely (if ever) works, and I don't recommend it. The feelings over the abuse will always be there, and can come out in other things.

Good luck in your move. Try not to see it as running away, but more as beginning a new adventure!
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