I haven't gotten past it, but I have vowed myself to celibacy until I can learn to get in to and have a healthy relationship with a suitable partner. I also resonated down to my toes on that because it put into the most perfect words exactly how I have been! At this point in my recovery, I recently realized that sex, to me, is all about power and control. I have had those that tried to be intimate with me in a loving way, but because of my internal beliefs about sex, it always was about power and control for me regardless. I am not sure how to change that belief, but I do know that before I become intimate with another person, it has to be changed.
One thing I have really been working on is my ability to see red flags for abusive, controlling and codependent mindsets in others. I know there are some really great topics in the archives here at SA for this, because I posted my questions and got some incredibly good feedback from them. Recognition of these traits in others is extremely helpful, a real eye opener!!
Another thing I have been working on is to realize and appreciate my own self value and worth. That is imperative if I intend to get into another relationship, I will demand to be treated with the respect and consideration I deserve. I will no longer be a caretaker, giving up my needs as less important than everyone else's, and I will not be used as a possession, sex toy or an emotional or physical punching bag/whipping girl. I deserve so very much more than that!!!
I will not give in to someone just because they want or desire me. I insist on being intimate in every other respect before the physical happens. I want to be wanted for the inner me, for my intelligence, creativeness, for who I am inside. I don't want to be wanted just because they like the outside package! I want to be respected and loved for the person I am, not for what I can do to take care of them physically, emotionally, etc.
No, I have not gotten past it, but I am definitely working through it!!!

I havent gotten past it, i have never even been on a date or anything. And it ended a while ago now (about 12 and half years well what i no anyways). So i guess i havent started this yet maybe but i hope i dont get to that point of using sex to earn a males love.

I know everyones equal is different. However sex is not the base of my relationship. Matter a fact I must be able to tell her I love her prior to ever wanting to even try. I also need a deep connection in our communication prior to expressing a sexual relationship. I feel that sex is communication without words but with our bodies and so very personal. A real man wont pressure you into sex ever. A real man will care about unlocking you on your time. I hope you find your restoration and reclaim all that was stolen in your life including the communication with a lover and using sex to do so and enjoying all of it. After all it was intended for your pleasure. Why else would you be created with so many nerve endings in your sex organ then in that of a males? It is intended to please you and you partner should respect that.