Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I posted this on a different site but I'm posting it here, as well:
I don't feel right calling myself a "survivor" because I haven't moved on from what happened to me, and I don't think I ever will. This is the only time I've admitted to someone besides my girlfriend that anything happened to me. My friend's brother sexually abused me when I was in elementary school. I don't know how many times I let it happen, but I feel so completely messed up inside from it. Finally I refused to go over again or I'd run from the room so I couldn't be caught alone with him. Since it happened, I feel like everyone who looks at me is molesting me with their eyes, so I physically and emotionally tuck myself in and, as a result, I don't have a lot of friends. The friends I do have know little to nothing about this experience. I'm terrified when I have sex with my girlfriend. I feel like I'm being too aggressive, that I'm forcing her. I have a hard time bringing myself to touch her and for a long time, I couldn't do it. I feel like I make her stay, like I'm forcing her to love me. I have really intense nightmares and flashbacks. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression, but I stopped taking my medication about two years ago cold turkey because I felt it was making me worse. I had never been that sad until I took it. Now I feel like these feelings are returning. I feel like this is all cropping up, like I can't ignore it anymore, so I don't know what to do. I don't know anyone who has been through this.
How did everyone else get through this?
I don't feel right calling myself a "survivor" because I haven't moved on from what happened to me, and I don't think I ever will. This is the only time I've admitted to someone besides my girlfriend that anything happened to me. My friend's brother sexually abused me when I was in elementary school. I don't know how many times I let it happen, but I feel so completely messed up inside from it. Finally I refused to go over again or I'd run from the room so I couldn't be caught alone with him. Since it happened, I feel like everyone who looks at me is molesting me with their eyes, so I physically and emotionally tuck myself in and, as a result, I don't have a lot of friends. The friends I do have know little to nothing about this experience. I'm terrified when I have sex with my girlfriend. I feel like I'm being too aggressive, that I'm forcing her. I have a hard time bringing myself to touch her and for a long time, I couldn't do it. I feel like I make her stay, like I'm forcing her to love me. I have really intense nightmares and flashbacks. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression, but I stopped taking my medication about two years ago cold turkey because I felt it was making me worse. I had never been that sad until I took it. Now I feel like these feelings are returning. I feel like this is all cropping up, like I can't ignore it anymore, so I don't know what to do. I don't know anyone who has been through this.
How did everyone else get through this?
deleted_user
I don't know about getting all the way through because I'm not there yet, but I do know that those strong feelings of not wanting people to notice you, being terrified around sex, and other kinds of anxiety are signals from your body. I kind of think of it like when you have been holding your pee for a long time. It really really hurts but when you finally let it go it's intense, but wonderful. I realize that I've been holding onto so many feelings for so many years and that they've been building up in my body and soul until the pressure became too great. But your personality and life has been built on top of those feelings so removing them takes a bit of care. A little at a time is usually the way. But the first step is to know that it's okay to let it go now. It's safe. DS is a safe place to release some of those things and to find help and support for the other stuff. I hope this helps.
deleted_user
I still, after many years get disgusted when men look at me. Wondering what they are thinking, and when I go out in public I cover myself up. Personally, I didn't like antidepressants either, I felt the same way. But being I'm bipolar I have been on medications after medications trying to find one that suited me. I prefer medication, to what I am without it. I am not on antidepressants, but the medications I am on, finally make me feel that I can lead a normal life. And I don't know how you get thru it, I think we all just grow out of it. I don't know, but I think we will never forget. And there will always be triggers to the memories. Anything happen lately that may have triggered your nightmares? Perhaps it is stress.
Loved1
Stuff comes to the surface and comes out when it's ready. It is good to have someone safe to talk to who can understand and help. You are in the right place.
deleted_user
I can say that I have never gotten over it, I just never dealt with it. And just yesterday, I had one huge mental and emotional breakdown. And today I am not sure how I did it. I feel my boyfriend doesn't love me because he does console me like I want. I often relate to this monster because he used to say all he needed was my love and he would feel better. But now who makes me feel better. I hear people say they know how I am feeling and I don't know how I am feeling so how could they know.
Join the Conversation
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
