Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
This has nothing to do with MY situation but I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY!! This might be really long but please read it all! I need everyones help!
About a year ago my husband and I went to my father-in-laws (FIL) house. Him and his wife were sleeping and the only people awake besides us was my sister-in-law (SIL)(14) and my brother-in-law (BIL)(21). He is my SIL and my husbands brother ONLY by marriage. They were both drunk off there asses and were still drinking moonshine and who knows what else. Well the next morning my SIL brought me into the bathroom and said "I had sex with rob last night" (My BIL and her brother). And stupid me I should have let her say more but no...I made a big deal about it and how it was gross because it was her brother. Well then she says "ya I know he raped me" and then she started acting different. That was the last she ever talked about it. I was the only one she told and I kept my mouth shut because she says she had sex with him but then I make a big deal about it and all of a sudden she didnt have sex with him he raped her.
A couple months later she started dating this guy that was from out of state but moved in with her dad because he was working for him. Well my FIL found out they were having sex and fired him and kicked him out of the house. My FIL started treating my SIL different and they fought and then stopped talking and she didn't go over there anymore. (Her parents are divorced.) Then that pist my FIL off even more so she wanted to throw her boyfriend in jail because he just turned 18. He went over to her moms house and took pics of his truck in the drive way and everthing just got really dramatic! Well then her boyfriend decided to move back with his mom (in another state) because he didnt want to go to jail. Well that pist my SIL off so she told him that rob raped her. Her ma and stepdad and her and me and my husband went to the police station to file a report eventhough it was SEVERAL months after the fact!
Long story short...I dont think he raped her...I know him and I know how much of a sweetheart he is! I think she just said that because First...I made a big deal about it when she said she had sex with her brother and Second...I think the only reason she told her boyfriend was because she knew he would tell someone and it would piss off her dad because he was the reason her boyfriend was leaving and Third...when she reported it she said she couldn't yell or stop him because she was pasted out and then when there was talk about him maybe going to jail she said she wasn't pasted out and told everyone every little detail even though she couldnt say anything before and fourth...a VERY reliable source said he saw the two of them kissing before he supposeidly "raped" her. My husband and I told her ma that but she didn't care! It's her baby girl and even though she lies all the time and drinks and is a slut(i know thats not nice but its true)my MIL for some reason thinks shes perfect and if she says something happened it did and her side is the only side of the story!
Now...My husband and I moved out of state and I got a call from my mother-in-law last night and she wants me to give a statement about the day my SIL told me she was raped. She said I probly would have to go back to testify but they need a statement from me. My husband and I are close with his father and his side of the family and my husband is close to his ma and her side of the family. I was really close with his ma and all them but I'm trying to avoid them because of another situation. If I give a statement my FIL and his family wont have anything to do with me or my husband and if I dont my MIL and her family will do the same thing. I dont know what to do! Either way I'm fucked! And my MIL says she wont stop until he goes to prison.
I don't want anyone mad at me and I dont want to help get him in more trouble for something he didnt do!
PLEASE HELP ME MY MIL IS CALLING TONIGHT (LIKE 2 HOURS!!) PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE!!!WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!
About a year ago my husband and I went to my father-in-laws (FIL) house. Him and his wife were sleeping and the only people awake besides us was my sister-in-law (SIL)(14) and my brother-in-law (BIL)(21). He is my SIL and my husbands brother ONLY by marriage. They were both drunk off there asses and were still drinking moonshine and who knows what else. Well the next morning my SIL brought me into the bathroom and said "I had sex with rob last night" (My BIL and her brother). And stupid me I should have let her say more but no...I made a big deal about it and how it was gross because it was her brother. Well then she says "ya I know he raped me" and then she started acting different. That was the last she ever talked about it. I was the only one she told and I kept my mouth shut because she says she had sex with him but then I make a big deal about it and all of a sudden she didnt have sex with him he raped her.
A couple months later she started dating this guy that was from out of state but moved in with her dad because he was working for him. Well my FIL found out they were having sex and fired him and kicked him out of the house. My FIL started treating my SIL different and they fought and then stopped talking and she didn't go over there anymore. (Her parents are divorced.) Then that pist my FIL off even more so she wanted to throw her boyfriend in jail because he just turned 18. He went over to her moms house and took pics of his truck in the drive way and everthing just got really dramatic! Well then her boyfriend decided to move back with his mom (in another state) because he didnt want to go to jail. Well that pist my SIL off so she told him that rob raped her. Her ma and stepdad and her and me and my husband went to the police station to file a report eventhough it was SEVERAL months after the fact!
Long story short...I dont think he raped her...I know him and I know how much of a sweetheart he is! I think she just said that because First...I made a big deal about it when she said she had sex with her brother and Second...I think the only reason she told her boyfriend was because she knew he would tell someone and it would piss off her dad because he was the reason her boyfriend was leaving and Third...when she reported it she said she couldn't yell or stop him because she was pasted out and then when there was talk about him maybe going to jail she said she wasn't pasted out and told everyone every little detail even though she couldnt say anything before and fourth...a VERY reliable source said he saw the two of them kissing before he supposeidly "raped" her. My husband and I told her ma that but she didn't care! It's her baby girl and even though she lies all the time and drinks and is a slut(i know thats not nice but its true)my MIL for some reason thinks shes perfect and if she says something happened it did and her side is the only side of the story!
Now...My husband and I moved out of state and I got a call from my mother-in-law last night and she wants me to give a statement about the day my SIL told me she was raped. She said I probly would have to go back to testify but they need a statement from me. My husband and I are close with his father and his side of the family and my husband is close to his ma and her side of the family. I was really close with his ma and all them but I'm trying to avoid them because of another situation. If I give a statement my FIL and his family wont have anything to do with me or my husband and if I dont my MIL and her family will do the same thing. I dont know what to do! Either way I'm fucked! And my MIL says she wont stop until he goes to prison.
I don't want anyone mad at me and I dont want to help get him in more trouble for something he didnt do!
PLEASE HELP ME MY MIL IS CALLING TONIGHT (LIKE 2 HOURS!!) PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE!!!WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I am so sorry for pain.
Don't worry about who packs a shit and this and that just tell the truth to what she said to you. Becase she talked to you you can get in trouble for withdrawing information needed to solve this case.
But like I said tell them exactly what she told you and what yousaid to her
This NEEDS to be done
Reen xx
You will know in your heart what the truth is and you need to be honest.. If you were not honest could you live with that.. That was my problem I was not honest and am now paying the consequences
Try to be brave and be honest to them and yourself and it will make it alot easier
Hope all goes well
i guess in your situation i would just stick to the facts - exactly what your sister in law told you - without infusing your opinion of the brother being a great guy or the sister being out of control, etc. if your extended family on either sides becomes upset with you, then you can tell them you only relayed what was confided in you in as objective a way as possible. i guess that's all you can really do.
I would say, follow your instincts.
If they had sex, and he's 21, and she's 14, then what he has done is child molestation. This is wrong and sick, and he needs to suffer the consequences of his actions.
It IS rape if those are their ages. A 21 year old should know better than to have a sex with a drunk 14 year old girl.
If he's the kind of man who would sleep with a 14 year old, he's probably the kind of man who would rape a 14 year old.
I read this earlier and didn't want to comment because I'm so confused.
I have no concept of what it is you want.
Also the fact that you SIL disclosed to you a criminal act means that you (legally) should have reported it to the authorities. And.....as you are most likely the first person she told immediately after the act will mean the if the SIL or her parent's press charges, you will indeed be questioned by the police as a primary witness (even though you did not physically witness the act yourself....terminology).
What your BIL did was not only morally wrong but also illegal and you keeping silent about it could be seen as "aiding and abetting a criminal activity".
Do the right thing....report it for your SIL's sake and sanity