Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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rape or just stupidity

deleted_user
deleted_user
i dont know if i was raped or not, because the way it happened was my fault..i met this guy on the internet, and i know how stupid it was/ is, but i agreed to meet him....we went to his apartment,and just talked and watched tv. after a while we started making out & messing around...he started taking off my clothes and his....then he got out a condom and put it on...we kept kissing, but i told him that i didnt want to go all the way, he asked me if i was a virgin, and i told him i was..he got on top of me, and started rubbing his penis on my vulva. i told him to stop, and i tried to turn onto my side, he just kept telling me to relax, and he said he wasnt going to put it in all the way. i kept saying that i didnt want to have sex, but he pushed into me. i couldnt tell if he was all the way inside, but it hurt really badly, i tried to get out from under him, but he pushed his body harder on me. he started to climax and he was pushing really hard, but he still said he wasnt inside of me.....when he was done he laid down and wanted to watch tv. i told him to take me home, and he did. in the car he apologized and said "sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable"
i dont know what to do, because im the one who agreed to meet a stranger on the interenet, and i feel like i led him on my kissing him....i just feel like i was asking for it, but i know that it wasnt right....i just dont know what to think or what to do,id really appreciate someone elses input about this
deleted_user
deleted_user
NO IS NO ANYTIME. He had no right to hurt you. We all make some unwise decisions sometiimes. Maybe this was one for you, but IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You told him from the very start that you didnt want to go al the way. He didnt listen to you. Not only did he take advantage of your vulnerable situation (you were a stranger in his apartment) but he took adantage of your innocence. I am so soory you had to go through that. No one deserves it, and I hope you can see that you are not to blame. It was rape. Please do something about him if you can.
geordie1
geordie1
It was not your fault you told him NO.
Yes you may have done something stupid going to his appartment but that does not mean that he can do anything that you did not consent to.
As Lasthope101 said NO IS NO ANYTIME.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been sexually abused and molested and I have been in relationships with abusives people and respectful people.

This person you were with is a PERPETRATOR. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

NO MEANs NO, when you are with respectful people.

From your story, it sounds like he may have been turned on even more bcs of him being with a virgn.

You may want to consider calling the police and getting an exam and reporting this guy.

He may be doing the same thing tonight, with some other unsuspecting person.

NO MEANS NO, when you are with respectful people.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It Is Absolutley RAPE......GEEEEZ hon...No is No is NO...makes Not a shit bit of difference if you went to his place or not...you went there thinking you were makeing a friend...when you do not want to do something and someone forces you into it that is Wrong...to bad you didn't go straight to the nearest police staion or Hospital....I have had it happen and I did nothing as well...and I do not need to tell you not to just openly trust people...there are alot of creeps......everywhere ya turn....the only thing you can now do with this is learn from it....accept that it happened...deal with it emotionally as best you can...and Move on past it...

sure it was wrong to go to his place...but rape happens in many situations...and we are not STUPID because someone else is a freakin Creep...Rape happens between long time friends..people who are dateing....couples that are married...as well as perfect strangers...Rape occurs when someone takes from you something that you do not want to Give...

Do Not make the mistake of takeing responability for HIS actions...just learn from it...
deleted_user
deleted_user
That was rape. You were violated.
I kiss someone I like by no way does that mean I want sex. It is healthy to express something like kissing and not want to have other things like touching or intercourse.

Often the public is callous to victims saying you made a poor choice so its not rape. WRONG I made plenty of poor choices my life did not mean I wanted to be raped.

I hate the term leading on! That is such, a selfish guilt trip used to bend anothers will. What if I liked a girl and we were going to go out to dinner then walk in the park then have some intimate time during the end. What if during dinner I did not feel the chemistry and did not want to take the dinner any further cause it was not what I wanted. I should have the right to change my mind at any time. There is no such thing as a point of no return.

I am sorry for another thing as well. Women who are virgins often feel a discomfort when they first engage in sex. It hurts plain and simple. That is a time for a loving mate. You were robbed of someone caring over you through this and loving on you really. Instead you were raped and then left in your own pain to be on your own. A real man is not like this. This behavior is unacceptable! I am sorry for your abuse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I may have been unsure about my first rape, but there is no doubt in my mind that you were raped. You made things loud and clear what you didn't want and he was not wanting anything but to make himself happy. Men are scum at times. Do what you can to get help (police, crisis center) don't wait either. Waiting only makes things worse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Would you want what happend to you to happen to someone else?

If this happend to your friend what would you tell her? I would ask her where he lives so i could report him! This was rape. Please talk to someone, and NEVER feel stupid. You spoke up clearly, and more.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand this completely. My first full on rape, (was sexually abused prior to this, but not raped) was just like that. we met as "friends" on the internet. now he was real tricky about it and took advantage slowly. then one day he just got tired of me saying no, and just did what he wanted, and it hurt, (I was a virgin, he knew that), but it also hurt because I wasn't excited at all about it, therefore there was no lubrication, so it was very painful. I understand how you feel. But it is in no way your fault. There are creeps in this world who pray on trusting people like you and I once were, but that doesn't make your NO any less meaningful. No means no. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, and I'm here if you need to talk, I know everyone here is supportive, but its really a whole other ball game for those of us who were virgins before rape, because our first memory of sex is this corrupt version from the rape. It brings about different issues. message me if you need to vent or talk it out!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please forgive the language and if offended by cuss words then don't read any further... I had an attorney tell me once when I was testifying against my uncle in his rape case about the molestation he subjected us to and he said this, "I don't care if the girl was laying there butt naked and saying fuck me baby fuck me, if she said no at any point he should have stopped" I kind of freaked. I don't know if true or not but NO is NO! We are living in the land of the free. You had a right to say no at any point.
deleted_user
deleted_user
As everyone has posted...No is No.

You were raped.

Though I have never been able to do it, I hope that you can find the courage to report him.

Don't go through life blaming yourself on this one. It is not your fault.
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