Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Not sure what to do here so I'm just looking for thoughts...
I am currently directing a play in which one of my actresses is a 21-year-old "girl". Now this isn't the first time that I've worked with her, and it isn't the first time that I've suspected abuse, either, but recently the bruises and strange behaviors have gotten worse and I just don't know what to do because she's technically an adult even if she does act like an emotionally distraught 13-year-old. And her parents (whom I highly suspect are the abusers) are ALWAYS right there, breathing down her neck, so its hard to say anything confidentially to her. This girl is 21 years old and she doesn't go anywhere without both Mom AND Dad chaperoning her! None of them work, the girl doesn't go to school, doesn't have friends, has never been remotely romantically involved, and pretty much has no life except to do the occaisional play.
Her mother told me that theatre is her one "allowance", as if the girl were a caged dog who was allowed to go for a walk once a week. The mother acts as the mouthpiece for her daughter, going so far as to physically stand between the daughter and I when I try to talk to her. I might be afraid of this woman if she weren't so immensely stupid.
The father rarely talks, usually allowing his wife to be his mouthpiece as well. He just sits there staring blankly into space for literally hours on end. I get an impression of mental handicap there.
The girl comes in with large, deliberate bruises on her face, bandages on her wrists, and an increasing aversion to physical or even eye contact with the other actors or actresses. From a director's point of view, I want to fire her for her inability to play her role, because she's supposed to be a love interest and she refuses to so much as touch her finace's hand or hug him. From a personal point of view, however, I want to call child protective services and have this girl removed from what is obviously an unhealthy environment...
Then I remember that she isn't a child anymore.
I am currently directing a play in which one of my actresses is a 21-year-old "girl". Now this isn't the first time that I've worked with her, and it isn't the first time that I've suspected abuse, either, but recently the bruises and strange behaviors have gotten worse and I just don't know what to do because she's technically an adult even if she does act like an emotionally distraught 13-year-old. And her parents (whom I highly suspect are the abusers) are ALWAYS right there, breathing down her neck, so its hard to say anything confidentially to her. This girl is 21 years old and she doesn't go anywhere without both Mom AND Dad chaperoning her! None of them work, the girl doesn't go to school, doesn't have friends, has never been remotely romantically involved, and pretty much has no life except to do the occaisional play.
Her mother told me that theatre is her one "allowance", as if the girl were a caged dog who was allowed to go for a walk once a week. The mother acts as the mouthpiece for her daughter, going so far as to physically stand between the daughter and I when I try to talk to her. I might be afraid of this woman if she weren't so immensely stupid.
The father rarely talks, usually allowing his wife to be his mouthpiece as well. He just sits there staring blankly into space for literally hours on end. I get an impression of mental handicap there.
The girl comes in with large, deliberate bruises on her face, bandages on her wrists, and an increasing aversion to physical or even eye contact with the other actors or actresses. From a director's point of view, I want to fire her for her inability to play her role, because she's supposed to be a love interest and she refuses to so much as touch her finace's hand or hug him. From a personal point of view, however, I want to call child protective services and have this girl removed from what is obviously an unhealthy environment...
Then I remember that she isn't a child anymore.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Perhaps you know someone who knows someone in law enforcement who could give you some ideas.
It might not hurt to get a photo of her and compare her to the photos of missing and exploited children.
In any case, in your situation I would feel somewhat responsible if I did nothing and maybe a little put-upon because this problem has come to me. I would also be very careful around the parents. I would think that because she is technically an adult, protective services couldn't do much unless the girl has some sort of disability which has her parents in a position of legal guardianship. In that case you could get in touch with social services and ask for them to investigate.
I hope the best for you (and her) in this difficult situation! Good luck. I hope someone else has better answers than I.
Since you can't speak to her directly ... is there any way you could slip her a note? Be CAREFUL not to get caught passing it to her ... as it will most likely result in "punishment" if it's found in her possession.
Write something like, "I'm concerned for you and care for you and want to help you if you need it." Please trust me. I'm here for you.
If you can get her to meet, call or email you ... maybe you can help her get the attention she so truly needs. Professional attention.
From someone who was an abused child ... I thank you for helping her. You are saving a life. You are a hero.
That said, please be careful yourself. Her parents sound very unstable and abusive, so you need to take your own safety into consideration.
Wishing you luck and peace.
The girl sent out emails to the rest of the cast, claiming that she hadn't quit (which was partially true; her mother made the decision for her) and that I had hired her with the intention of firing her right from the start. She claims I have some sort of personal, hateful vendetta against her, nevermind the fact that I don't know her outside of this theatre group. She also made threats against the group, which the producer forwarded to the local chief of police. The suspicion of abuse was not brought up, however, so I will have to report that separately myself.
Fun Fun Fun
I know here where i live there is a thing called "Adult Protective Services" same thing as CPS....only they deal with adults...usually the elderly or mentally unstable/handicap...either way i would contact someone...preferably the authorities if she shows up with fresh wounds again...
You could speak to her about this but I don't know how close you are with her. You can encourage her to leave home. Perhaps you could call the police and tell them yous suspect domestic disturbance. I hope she can escape this situation, I know how tough it is.