First things first, if you are not in therapy, you need to get a therapist who is trained in sexual abuse. The first step of healing is realizing it's a problem, the second step is therapy. That's the only way you're going to get through this.
That said, don't worry. You're not abnormal. We've all been where you are, some of us are still there. It was a traumatic, horrible experience, and it's perfectly natural for it to leave behind some scars.
If you broke your leg in a motorcycle accident, do you think you'd be rearing to get up on a motorcycle again?
If you were stabbed, do you think you'd love being around people while they held knives?
This is just like that. It's post traumatic stress disorder, and there are people who can and will help you.
You're very brave for coming here and talking about this. You should be commended for that.
As for your current relationship, if you haven't told him about the abuse, it might be time for a little talk.
There are two good books you should look into, Courage to Heal and Allies in Healing, both by the same author. Courage to Heal is an excellent workbook for abuse victims, and Allies in Healing is a workbook for the partners of abuse victims.
You've already become a survivor just by speaking up and asking for help. Be proud of yourself.

Yep....therapy...we cannot help you "get over" anything....only people who specialize and really know what they're doing can give you real help. We can support you though.

because it wasnt dealt with you just need to acknolege it and go and make love to your man you undress him and have him lie down and you overcome that insecurity issue its a good think that your guy looks at you sexually it means hes wants to share that intmacy with you its not an aggresive attack.