Well, first off, I'm sorry that you're going through such a stressful and confusing time. Also, have you been made aware of how old you were when the abuse might have happened? If you were really young, it's possible that you just don't remember it and you maybe never will. But, I DO understand about you possibly blocking it out. My abuse happened for so long and so often that my brain's too small to hold all the memories of it in and I've blocked a lot of it out. As I'm sure you're learning in your counseling sessions, our brain's are made to try and block out bad and hurtful things. So, yes, it's totally possible that yours has blocked it out. I recently got a child psychology diploma, and yes, I realize that you're not a child (LOL) but our brain's mostly act the same throughout our whole lives. Anyway, I'm not quite sure about the arousal you're experiencing. I'm not as familiar with that as I am with the blocking out. Right now though, you're doing a great thing by seeing a counselor. That shows that you're brave and strong and that you obviously think higher of yourself than you're aware of. Great job! I'm sure I can speak for everyone on here in saying that you have a lot to be proud of. I hope this helps in some way. Keep doing what you're doing and I'm sure you'll find all the answers you're looking for. You'll be in my prayers. Lots of love!

dear friend,..i did not remember my abuse for maybe 10 or so years... i was able to retrieve such memories through self hypnosis.i've been to a counselor that felt my memories were acurate. i was given a book on on self hypnosis when my sister in law was taking classes on sex abuse and thought i was exhibiting signs of being abused.,,,might i add, that i am not sure if remembering has been seemingly the best for me. i functioned much better before i remebered and ... experianced the pain of that time also.... take care w/ love danica

Hi Niketa

Here is something I would hope your counselor might explain to you.

Our minds give us information when we are in a place in life to handle such info.

I don't know if this has happened to anyone reading this but we could be in the middle of something we consider fun and happy and suddenly a memmory from the past appears. This is because our minds thinks "ok, nows a good time"

I hope and pray for you that you find the peace you are searching for.

I would be interested to know what led you to seek counseling for repressed memmories?

My thoughts are with you good luck in this journey

Hey, Thank you guys very much for your replies,it means alot to me, you are all very special, and I am sending out lots of good thoughts to the universe to you.
In reply to your questions. I went to counselling because I felt I needed to sort myself out b4 I could feel completely confident in working with people, as I have been doing papers in drug and alcohol studies, I also have a degree in psychology but i feel there is always something stopping me ie lack of confidence low self esteem. Plus I was confused about why i sexualised everything even at a young age and always had relationship problems. After my first session with my counsellor I developed an erotic transference! That really threw me and it was totally subconscious, I talked to her about it so it's part of the counselling. But it does all make sense, I have always wondered since I was at risk. When my mother went away on trips she bought me with her so I wasn't left with dad and she just recently said that even in the weekends she didn't work so that I was never left alone with him.
I may have been abused very young and that is why I have no memories. I suppose I just need to know without causing a major stir what happened and if it happened. Then I know I will be able to process, grieve, grow and move on to the next stage of my life much stronger and more knowledgeable about where my thoughts and feelings come from.