I could never forget that spring day of my junior year at Broadmoor Senior High School. I was sitting on one of the picnic tables in the quad working on an English paper. I looked up to see a beautiful girl walk nearby. She wasnt beautiful like a model, it was something else. She walked with an heir of innocence and joy. She appeared to float across the courtyard. It was almost sickeningly breathtaking. No one else seemed to notice her, or at least not that I could see. But I did. I saw her. It seemed as though I should know her, but I cant understand why. She seemed light hearted. God, how I wish that was me. I was like that once. Ive been jaded though, jaded by lifes sucky ways. Her features are a blur, because that was not what captivated my attention. She almost appeared to have a glow about her, but now I see the sad look in her eye. She started coming towards me, still no one notices her. I hide. It doesnt work. She comes right to me with the boldness of a child. She wanted to talk to me. She wanted to tell me something. At first we just chatted. She asked me what I was working on. We talked about my friends. She never told me her name. Then she said something I didnt really understand. She said, Let it go, its not your fault. I didnt know what she was talking about.

She then got up turned around and walked off, still no one noticed her. Was she a ghost? I dont know. I dont want to think about that. I cant think about that. What was she talking about? Her image haunts me the rest of the day. Its not my fault, let it go. What did she mean? What did she know about me? She seemed so wise, but she couldnt have been any older than me. If she was, it wasnt much. She obviously knows something about me, or maybe it was all in my imagination. Yes, thats it, I imagined her. No one else saw her. That must be it.


It has been weeks now, and her image still runs through my head every moment. I am forced to seek her out, and understand her purpose. I started thinking about what she said. The only thing she could be talking about is my bitterness towards God, my parents, and my brother. She is talking about letting the hurt over the things my brother did and the memories go. All the sudden she appears again. She looks at me with her understanding expressive eyes. They appear to have my tears in them, for I can not cry for myself right now. I cant let go of that. He took my innocence away from me. He did, and it is my fault. Im not sure how, but it is. She looks at me again, reaches out and hugs me. She strokes my hair, like my mother does when I am upset. She once again says the words let it go, its not your fault. She keeps saying it. Then all at once, she disappears. I understand. She is me, the hidden me, the innocence lost.