When I was in high school, I spent two months in the hospital fighting an eating disorder. While I was there, my counselor told me that he believed I had been sexually abused as a child. I told him that I would remember if something like that happened and it never did. Much to my surprise, though, my first time having sex, the guy told me I was a liar- I had told him I was a virgin and he swore I wasn't.

Fast forward 4 years. In April of last year, my husband of 3 1/2 months( yes that says MONTHS) kicked me and my daughter out. I was so angry at the time and desparately lost without him, but as time went on and as I've read stories on here, I am realizing that he was sexually and emotionally abusive to me. I am not sorry now that he kicked us out, but I can't tell my family what he did to me- I won't even say it on here- because I am so afraid someone will tell me what I was taught as a child- He was your husband- he could have whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.

And now to merge the two...
before I got married, my mom started asking questions and not telling me why- questions about things that happened before I went to the hospital. I don't know if she knows something I don't or if she thinks I know something and am not telling her.
I reaaly don't remember ever being sexually abused as a child, but I have all the "signs" as the counselor put it so many years ago. There is this uneasy feeling hwwen I think about it... a fleeting impression of a memory. Am I making this up in my mind? Could I REALLY have blocked something like that so completely that I can't remember now even when I want to? If anyone has any advice, please help!