Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I was 14 years old, my parents were working all night leaving us with the au pair. I being 14 held a party, not good behaviour but typical teen behaviour. This is tough because i have never once talked about exactly what happened that night but i need to, i need to know if this was my fault. My neighbour took my little brother and sister to his house saying that it was not fair them being there when i was partying. Anyway after the party had finished and my friends all but 1 had gone home (my friend was staying the night) he came round said he was going to the phone box and had to speak to me. I went with him, i trusted him, we past the phone box but he kept walking, i asked why he just said i wanted to spend some time alone with you. i was scared but tried not to think the worst. Anyway we got to the garages and he asked me to kiss him, my heart was running so fast and i was really scared, i was not into boys in fact at that point i thought i was gay (i am not) i gave him a peck on his mouth, he said I will show you how to kiss properly. i knew how to but didnt want to but i did anyway because i was scared. Then he walked us home, that was it, it was horrible but thats all he had done and i was relieved.
Anyway later that night he came round through the back door asking if my friend was asleep, she wasnt so he went and i thought nothing of it. he cam back again later and i look back on it and i know i should have locked theback door but i didnt think clearly. He started to kiss me i was really scared, i was shaking as he lowered me to the kitchen floor. I told him i didnt want to, i said no but all he said was it would be alright. i felt a searing pain between my legs and his breath was on my face, i was crying and i made a small scream. I guess he didnt want to risk waking my friend so he stopped thankfully, but he asked me to masturbate him. I did i was scared and i didnt know what else to do.
the next day my parents came home i dint say anything, we were meant to be going on holiday soon and my punishment for the party was i was being left behind, my neighbour offered to have me, well i went to school that day and never went home. I have not been home since. I have kids of my own and i am 28 this experiance was 14 years ago and i still wonder if it really was rape, and if it is my fault. I need to find out, sorry. i have not talked abuot this before just said he had raped me but always not really sure if he had. I never went to the police and my parents didnt find out till 2 years after the incident.
Anyway later that night he came round through the back door asking if my friend was asleep, she wasnt so he went and i thought nothing of it. he cam back again later and i look back on it and i know i should have locked theback door but i didnt think clearly. He started to kiss me i was really scared, i was shaking as he lowered me to the kitchen floor. I told him i didnt want to, i said no but all he said was it would be alright. i felt a searing pain between my legs and his breath was on my face, i was crying and i made a small scream. I guess he didnt want to risk waking my friend so he stopped thankfully, but he asked me to masturbate him. I did i was scared and i didnt know what else to do.
the next day my parents came home i dint say anything, we were meant to be going on holiday soon and my punishment for the party was i was being left behind, my neighbour offered to have me, well i went to school that day and never went home. I have not been home since. I have kids of my own and i am 28 this experiance was 14 years ago and i still wonder if it really was rape, and if it is my fault. I need to find out, sorry. i have not talked abuot this before just said he had raped me but always not really sure if he had. I never went to the police and my parents didnt find out till 2 years after the incident.
deleted_user
Yes it is rape you said no. So it don't matter on anything else. As long as you said no then yes it is rape. NO it was NOT your fault. You did't ask him to do this so no it's not your fault. Well if you need someone to talk to then you can talk to me.
deleted_user
Yes, you were raped, molested, abused. I think sometimes it's easier to think it wasn't rape than you don't have to deal with the fact that it happened, if that makes sence. I know it was a lot harder to deal with for me when finally realized in my own head that the molesting actually happened. that's awful what happened to you, that a-hole should be left on an island with all the other molesters.
deleted_user
If you say NO it is classified as rape. Just because you didnt fight back, doesnt mean you did anything wrong. Maybe the fear of "if I fight back will he hurt me more?" It is never your fault.
deleted_user
sweetheart even if you had gotten him drunk...he was an adult he should have known better. You said NO. you were a minor... U did NOTHING wrong. He did EVERYTHING wrong...have you called your parents at all?
deleted_user
The old adage was that if a "fight" wasn't put up, the person who was the victim was "willing" or was a participant. This is what kept women out of the courts for years and is still sadly a mentality that some people hold on to. It's total crap. Your age & the amount of struggle you do or don't put up doesn't matter. Any person, male or female from an infant to the elderly and every age in between...and if they fight back, struggle, freeze in fear, scream, remain silent for minutes, days, or years. It does NOT matter. Rape is rape and abuse is abuse. The long term effects are no different whether you "wonder if it really was" or the fact that it REALLY was hon. Don't ever doubt yourself....ever. The fact that you even question it this many years later is your answer. You know it was rape....now you want to start taking those steps to really deal with it?
deleted_user
Oh babykins. This story breaks my heart. God, how many questions we have....I've forgive my perp and we're civil now -- would even have lunch and make small talk. No one understands this, but maybe I can do it because the situation wasn't that violent -- but I didn't feel like I protested strongly enough and held that against myself for years. There are people in my life (friends, family) who don't understand with or agree with my capacity for forgiveness. It's helped me immensely, but the feeling of violation is still there.
deleted_user
no that wasnt your fault he assalted you, you need to come to terms with it and dont let those feelings control or run your life you where taken advantage of.be good to yourself.
deleted_user
It was definitely rape just because you didn't fight didn't mean anything. He was told no and that should have meant just that. You did what you had to do because you were scared if you hadn't done what you were told he might have done something worse.
notalone00
yes it was rape, and depending on the state, you can still press charges....the statue of limitations in sexual abuse cases is a lot longer than 'normal' cases.....also im sorry that you went through that, no one should ever have to go through anything like that.......i'm here if you want to talk
notalone00
and no it was NOT your fault, no matter what you tell yourself, you said no, he pushed, thats rape..
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Please don't judge me... I don't know how I can ask that when I'm already judging myself but I do.i thought I was over it, it's been over 20 years since the first time he touched me. He was my brothers best friend and was always around and I had the biggest crush on him. I was 10 and he was 17. When he started things I didn't know what to think... again I was 10 and I allowed it to happen...
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Another memory surfaced, this time of mom. My mother has said that I'd hurt my vagina somehow in an accident; I don't remember this, or the supposed doctor's office visit. But I do remember her sticking her fingers inside me to apply some kind of ointment. Since this incident apparently included a doctor, I'm not sure if it really counts as sexual abuse, but I was old enough to apply the oinment...