im only 17, so what i write may not help.....
on they days when i feel like just laying there and giving up, i start doing things to distract myslef. or i watch my neighbor's kids, who i absolutely love to be around. or else i write everything i am feeling down on a piece of paper and then burn it, it helps me
i can sound like anyother person and say "there is always a silver lining" and there is...things will get better

Please don't give up, friend. Whether you know it or not, you're kids DO need you. I'm always here so please talk to me. You're in my prayers. BIG hug and lots of love.

Hang in there, and don't get too stressed out trying to be a "perfect" mom. Just try to be a "good" mom, which is still a heck of a lot more than a lot of us had.

And, I agree with what SamiMocha said.

hey :)

i think i know your situation pretty well.. i have a 3 year old daughter and in my darkest moments i felt like she would be better without me, but deep down inside i know thats not true. Yes they grow up fast and i know that longing for being perfect as a parent, but what i discovered the lost months is that .. one of the greatest gift u can give your kids is to be honest with them and let them know that this world is not perfect, and u arent either. I started to talk a lot to my little girl about what is happening to me when i cant get up and talked about how scary this is for her, told her too that she is helping me to be strong and that nothing of what is happening is her fault. Dont give up.. .its worth fighting... i still have my dark moments, but im doing a lot better today. Feel free to message me any time. hugs!

oh honey, i know you are hurting. i am so sorry that you are going through this. as far as when the pain will end... to be honest, i don't think it ever really ends completely. i can say that with time, it does get bearable.

i am 36 and for years, i just tried to stifle my emotions about what happened to me. then, by the time i realized that it was eating me up inside and that i HAD to deal with it, it took a long time before i felt like i functioned properly. there were many days that if i had not had my son, i don't think i could have gotten out of bed.

just hang in there honey, your kids need you and they desperately love you. you have to fight for them. big hug!

I am so with you but dont give up.
Your kids need you !

i wonder if you were abused around the age of one of your kids,is now i know this can be very hard, when my daughter turned certain ages, i noticed that my anxiety and depression worsened, because i was so afraid that i could not protect her, because i was unable to protect myself.(i was abused more then once) do you think counseling would help you? i mean it sounds as if you are going through a crisis, and your kids need you, and you need them, there is no perfect mom. but the fact that you care enough to want to be your best, shows that you are a good mom.

Don't give up! You have been through the worst and survived it. It seems like now the pain will never end, but this too shall pass. Life after SA kind of turns into a rollercoaster, with dips and dives and high climbs, but know that eventually things will be up again, and sooner or later the dives won't be so low and the climbs won't be so far up. Hang in there. And don't try to be a "perfect" mom. No such crittur anyway. Just be a good mom and always make sure your children never have to even question whether they are loved by you. Make them know it everyday. It is what they will remember over the dirty dishes or the pile of laundry. They will remember your love and care. That is what my grown children have told me. They remember the love most of all.

hi,
sorry you feel this way. it must be hard for you. im not a mum but ive heard how demanding that is and on top of it you have to deal with your issues.
try to relieve the pressure somehow. dont set such high standards for yourself and take care of yourself.
your kids wouldnt be better off. they would be devastated to lose you. im sure you are a better mum than you give yourself credit for.
i think your daughter starting kindy is a good thing. that will give you a bit more time to relax and have time for yourself.
i think putting pressure on yourself and beating up on yourself will only make you feel worse. instead try to feel proud of being a good mum and how far you have come and how strong you are to have not succumbed to the depression.
take care

Don't give up. At the moment it may seem very black, but there is a future for you. It may feel that your kids and family are better off without you, but that's not true. Thye love you and need you. Hang on in there.