Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
well my friend has just poured a lot of stuff out to me. she has described in a lot of detail what she has been through.
she was abused by her dad like me, but one of the hardest things to get over for her is this;
when she was 7,8,9 her brother and her used to try and have sex with each other. now, we don't know how this came about, or who was there to stop it, but it happened quite frequently. he was 9 when she was 7, and she said to me that whenever she was on the bed naked, he would lie on top of her back and try and insert his ____ into her. now this is shocking i know, but it makes me wonder why her parents didnt do anything. apparently, she said that her mum and dad told her what happens when you have sex at an early age. she learnt the DETAILS at age five, which i think is sad.
also another experience she told me, was that both her brothers tried to go down on her after she was in the bath. i know they were young but its still quite sick. she didnt really want to do it, but she felt like a ''sex object'' to all her family. and her dad used to encourage it.
her mum didnt really take much notice either, and always told them to ''pack it in'', rather than stop it herself.
her mum and dad both sexualised their kids, even if the mum played it down or was the ''victim''. she was no better, and the experiences she told me of got worse.
one time her mum was in her lounge naked and was unfortunately, masturbating.
now her mum didnt have a bedroom so she always left the door open in the lounge. but surely its inappropriate to be naked?
and anyway, she came down stairs and saw this, and was standing there for quite a while and her mum knew she was there. she called out to her for a drink TWICE, and her mum told her to go into the kitchen and get it herself but was STILL masturbating. she didnt stop and was lying there with her legs spread apart.
and also her mum used to shave 'down there', infront of her so she could see her spread her lips apart. its quite disgusting.
now my friend has grown up not knowing what is acceptable or not. she tells her mum what shes done but it is always down played.
and her dad isnt here for questioning but is undoubtably sick as well.
now i dont know how to tell my friend how she can overcome all thats happened to her.
it wasnt just a few circumstances, it was her daily life mixed with ''normal'' life. how the hell would you get over this? i mean the worse stuff im not getting into, but she cant think straight and thinks shes going crazy.
any help please?
she was abused by her dad like me, but one of the hardest things to get over for her is this;
when she was 7,8,9 her brother and her used to try and have sex with each other. now, we don't know how this came about, or who was there to stop it, but it happened quite frequently. he was 9 when she was 7, and she said to me that whenever she was on the bed naked, he would lie on top of her back and try and insert his ____ into her. now this is shocking i know, but it makes me wonder why her parents didnt do anything. apparently, she said that her mum and dad told her what happens when you have sex at an early age. she learnt the DETAILS at age five, which i think is sad.
also another experience she told me, was that both her brothers tried to go down on her after she was in the bath. i know they were young but its still quite sick. she didnt really want to do it, but she felt like a ''sex object'' to all her family. and her dad used to encourage it.
her mum didnt really take much notice either, and always told them to ''pack it in'', rather than stop it herself.
her mum and dad both sexualised their kids, even if the mum played it down or was the ''victim''. she was no better, and the experiences she told me of got worse.
one time her mum was in her lounge naked and was unfortunately, masturbating.
now her mum didnt have a bedroom so she always left the door open in the lounge. but surely its inappropriate to be naked?
and anyway, she came down stairs and saw this, and was standing there for quite a while and her mum knew she was there. she called out to her for a drink TWICE, and her mum told her to go into the kitchen and get it herself but was STILL masturbating. she didnt stop and was lying there with her legs spread apart.
and also her mum used to shave 'down there', infront of her so she could see her spread her lips apart. its quite disgusting.
now my friend has grown up not knowing what is acceptable or not. she tells her mum what shes done but it is always down played.
and her dad isnt here for questioning but is undoubtably sick as well.
now i dont know how to tell my friend how she can overcome all thats happened to her.
it wasnt just a few circumstances, it was her daily life mixed with ''normal'' life. how the hell would you get over this? i mean the worse stuff im not getting into, but she cant think straight and thinks shes going crazy.
any help please?
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You're being a good friend to her just by listening to her, but there's really no magical phrase or sentence we can type that will make everything better for her.
It sounds like she's confronted her family about it, but has she considered going to the police?
The brothers were probably engaging in sexual activity with her BECAUSE it was encouraged and because they thought it was normal.
If the brothers have children, they could be engaging in the same cycle with them. But that's not something she needs to concern her with just yet.
Honestly, the only thing she can do, the only thing she NEEDS to do is get into therapy and then do what her therapist says.
Journaling all of her experiences will help her get past them as well, and talking more about them with you will also help her.
But therapy is the most important thing.