Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
i was trying to establish today why i have such a problem with my mum knowing about my abuse. i havent told her and the very thought of telling her makes me stomach turn and makes me cringe a bit. i couldnt ever really figure out why but ive got some kind of clue that i thought id write down to see if anyone else ever felt like this...
i hate the thought of her knowing because, i think she'd blame herself and i dont want her to feel bad, i know she would try and make it better by giving me attention (like smothering me) and that makes me nervous, i know she loves me but i dont want her to blame me or make out like it wasnt anything important (although thats a reason i wouldnt tell most people, not just her)
i dont like the thought of what my dad would do if he knew, cos hes a violent bastard now, if he knew im pretty sure he would actually kill my cousin, i dont want them to treat me differently because its always been like this, i just havent told them.
if you cant tell already, im amazingly confused, i NEED to tell someone, its like its eating away at me, i know soon i will tell one of my friends, but ive been thinking, if i tell her and everything goes well (e.g. she believes me and is nice about it) where do i go from there? if i tell her the whole story, which i want to, then what? do you know what i mean, its like, great, you got raped, what can she do to help me if i cant tell other people?
and also, im scared of telling my doctor, im pretty much just scared of telling anyone! any experiences you've had with telling freinds or anyone? it would be nice to know how you did it, thanks!
i hate the thought of her knowing because, i think she'd blame herself and i dont want her to feel bad, i know she would try and make it better by giving me attention (like smothering me) and that makes me nervous, i know she loves me but i dont want her to blame me or make out like it wasnt anything important (although thats a reason i wouldnt tell most people, not just her)
i dont like the thought of what my dad would do if he knew, cos hes a violent bastard now, if he knew im pretty sure he would actually kill my cousin, i dont want them to treat me differently because its always been like this, i just havent told them.
if you cant tell already, im amazingly confused, i NEED to tell someone, its like its eating away at me, i know soon i will tell one of my friends, but ive been thinking, if i tell her and everything goes well (e.g. she believes me and is nice about it) where do i go from there? if i tell her the whole story, which i want to, then what? do you know what i mean, its like, great, you got raped, what can she do to help me if i cant tell other people?
and also, im scared of telling my doctor, im pretty much just scared of telling anyone! any experiences you've had with telling freinds or anyone? it would be nice to know how you did it, thanks!
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Perhaps you could ring a crisis call line. We have life line in Australia and Crisis care. I think that would be a good place to start so you can get it out of your system. you don't need to leave a name or anything. But they are trained counsellors who can at least listen and help YOU to work through this. Instead of it being held inside eating away at you.
There are annonymous lines you can ring, and I think that would be a good place to start. Take care, we all have such pain and hurt and my wish for you is that you can come out the other side of all this and have a magnificient life. We all deserve that.
xx
she feels guilty enough as it is...and honestly i'm still angry with her about a lot of things...and i know it's not going to help b/c i am out of the situation.
is this still happening? you really need to talk to someone, even if you don't say much. If this is going on now, pls just tell someone somehow....try writing it down
Having some good and some bad experiences with this, my advice is to take it slow. TAKE IT REAL SLOW.
Before I disclosed to anyone who was not a survivor, I had a therapist, I was involved with a group, and I was clean and sober (this was a biggy for me).
The most important thing for you to remember is that you are the most important person in your life right now. You have finally come to a place where you are able to begin dealing with the abuse. This is a big deal. Don't put expectations on yourself that you need to be able to tell people. For today, just for today, you don't need to tell anybody anything. Respect how you are feeling; there is reality to getting some bad reactions.
I would be willing to share my experiences, but only if you have a good support network around you.
Hope this helps.
I don't know if i would tell my mother or not. a few years back when this all blew up for me my mother was part of an incident that really blew up and if there was any doubt before that there was none now. it broke my mothers heard to see and realize what had happened. That being said my mother also told me that she knew what my brother had done. I never saw my mother cry when my dad cried. But she cried for days after this incident.
but it turned out to be a good thing in many ways. Not least of which was there was no secret my entire family knew.
I know my mom feels like she failed me and she didn't. But how could a parent not feel they failed a child who has gone thru so much. It may not be her fault but she may feel guilty and that will be hard.
You know your mother best. but I like what others said maybe working with a counselor will help you make a more informed decision.
good luck
Tell her/them/whever with a freind/doctor someone who'll back you. Do it for you. Don't not do it for them. We survivors all need the support ! Good luck:)