I feel exactly the same......huggs

Never be sorry, you did nothing wrong. It is alright and normal to be angry. I am so sorry that this happened to you.

You are not selfish and hae a right to be angry, I am only just hitting that now. You could still go to the police if you choose. It has been 30 years since my abuse and the law here changed a few years ago so now I am able to take the bastard who abused be through the courts. I have made a 58 page statement and it is not expected to go to court until 2010. It is there that I am handing all the crap back to him where it belongs. I hope you find a way in which to deal with it.

Hi,
dont be hard on yourself. youve been through an extremely traumatic experience for a long time and of course its had a profound effect on you. I think we all get frustrated and wonder why we should have to continue to suffer even after the abuse has ended. the mind is complex. Its so easy to slip in to that despair and wonder..why me and life isnt fair...etc.
Unfortunately, what has been done cant be done. all you can do is try your best to move on with your life and heal from the past.
Im not sure how old you are. For me its been 10 years since the abuse and all that time ive been going around in circles with negative thinking. all it does is hold u back.
Have u tried therapy? Please do all u can to get help because the longer u leave it and continue this way, the more u condition ur mind to think this way. It is really hard to break out of.
Ppl do bad things out of selfishness, lack of compassion, self-loathing or perhaps they are re-enacting something that happened to them. you can drive urself crazy with dwelling on it.
what u are feeling is ok and understandable. I really hope you can move on with ur life and find peace..you deserve it. you had a bad start to life but it is possible for you to have a happy future. take care

One of the most horrible things about sexual abuse is that even after the physical part of it stops, what the abuse left in your mind grows larger and larger with the passage of time. You have every right to be angry and to feel what you are feeling! Look at a 3 year old child and think of her right to be happy, carefree, innocent and untouched. You were denied and robbed of that! How could you not be furious?! Since it is so "fresh", please go seek counseling before your mind represses what you know, before you behave in ways the abuse has taught you and that behavior destroys the promise of what you can be in this life. Seek after recovery and healing now and you will save a lot of pain in the future. The things this abuse has taught you from such an early age will come back to haunt you in ways you would never think of if you can't start dealing with it and the scars it has left on you.

My abuser started on me when I was about 2. The abuse continued until I ran away at the age of 17. I repressed a lot of the earlier abuse and never dealt with any of it. I am now 46 and it has affected most of my life: relationships, decisions, work, my children (because they had to deal with a PTSD mom that threw temper tantrums and other neat tricks) my living situation...I cannot think of a single area in my life that this has not affected! And NOW, this late in life, I finally decide to deal with it! Well, better late than never! But I would wish for you more successes and less pain in your life from this than what I have had. Please consider therapy and starting to deal with this now. Your life is too precious to throw away. You can be so much! Just have some courage and the strength to seek healing!
Much hope for you and to you. It took some guts to come and post!

Sorry. I think the words "throw away" were a little strong there, but it is a reflection of how I feel that I have "thrown things away" in my own life because of my own poor decisions and ignored opportunities because I thought I was not good enough, poor self-image & self-esteem stemming from the abuse.